Some people say I’m not funny.
Some people say I’m just dumb,
But for years a grammatically-incorrect cat who wanted a cheeseburger was the funniest thing on Earth
So I figure my time will come.
Tag Archives: Short
Instead Of Going Back In Time To Kill Hitler, Consider This Guy
“What if, instead of selling stuff
To people who will buy it
We interrupt TV and stuff
To talk about a diet,
A tv show, a sugar drink,
A car, or car insurance?
That should make folks love us,
Or at least that’s my inference!”
Filed under Poems
And From There The Epic Fantasy Genre Was Born
Their once was a dude from the Shire
That an old wizard wanted to hire.
He found this cool ring
That messed up everything.
Three books later it died in a fire.
Filed under Poems
Proof That Cutting Your Dick Off Is Heroic
When a guy decides he’d rather be female
And undergoes surgery, then
I think they become the most powerful mutants
Because, after all, they’re ex-men.
Filed under Poems
When Someone Tells A Racist Joke And You Want To Warn Them To Stop, Apparently Shouting “ABORT!” Doesn’t Help…
If ever a black woman
Tries to defraud you
Here is a line you can say:
“Do I look like your baby,
“Because probably maybe
“I wasn’t born yesterday.”
Filed under Poems
But No! The Advertisers HAD To Lie To You…
I think the greatest opportunity
Anyone ever missed
Was “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”
Not making butter, ’cause what a twist!
Filed under Poems
She Puts The “Ass” In “Asymptote”
A small cup of soda is $2.99,
A medium pop is $3.50, and
A large one is only $3.55
So I figure your mom costs a grand.
Filed under Poems
How To Pickup Blue-Haired Girls
I think Albino representation
Is what modern Hollywood lacks.
After all, if there are no albinos
What roles will Netflix give the blacks?
Filed under Poems
When You Can’t Bear A Bare Bear With A Bare Bear Baby
There once was a bear with her cub
At the front of the line at the club.
Neither wore clothing,
And the club started closing
So I pulled out my .38 snub…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 