I don’t believe in giving the government
Unlimited power to spend
Because what if they give
Drum sets to all who live?
See how badly all this could end?
Tag Archives: Silly
Poems from My Vacation 4 – Juneau
The capital of Alaska
In the Southeast of the state
Is a street where jewelry stores abound
And shirt shops congregate.
We visited a gold mine
That closed in ‘44
‘Cause everyone’s favorite Austrian
Got the miners sent to war.
We panned for gold, discovering
A treasure to hold dear:
That we’d have died if we’d been born
In a gold rush type of year.
On every side were waterfalls
And the sun was warm and high.
Overall a decent town
Provided it’s July.
Filed under Poems
Canadian Shower Thoughts
I think hockey is entertaining,
But what sport wouldn’t be great
If you just changed the rules so players
All had to wear ice skates?
Baseball would be more exciting!
Football would be even more cool!
Soccer would be… well, still boring
But there’s exceptions to every rule.
In fact, if we looked beyond athletes
And made everyone skate every day
We’d probably be happy and peaceful.
(At least it worked out for Norway)
Filed under Poems
Poems from My Vacation 2 – Blackjack
There we were upon the sea
And looking for some fun.
We got a wad of dollar bills
To go play 21.
We sat upon a padded stool
And bet our livelihood.
Some hands didn’t go so well
(As math suggests it should).
However, one fine gentleman
Who couldn’t hear a word
Was tipping well the dealer
And flipping math the bird.
Overall we lost a bit
But had a lot of fun.
Also, I know why cruise ships
Don’t let you pack a gun.
Filed under Poems
Welcome Home
I’m back from my vacation
And my entire body hurts.
My throat is sore, my feet are tired,
And my nose occasionally squirts.
My head is full of dizzies
And my toes are cold as ice
But the pictures on my cell phone
Look really, really nice!
Filed under Poems
The Little Things
You know when you’re eating the pasta
That’s shaped liked a little wheat shell
And they stick on your tongue while you eat them
And you feel like the whole world is well?
Or how ‘bout when you’re dehydrated
And your pee is all yellow and bright
And the pee-water gets kinda cloudy
And you flush and it all feels alright?
I like that just-popped-a-zit feeling
And that “earwax is washed away” calm.
It’s just me? That may be, but I’m hoping
You find your own commonplace balm.
Filed under Poems
The Zookeeper Writes An Honest Children’s Book
A is for Antelope, which isn’t a deer.
B is for Babirusa, which isn’t a pig.
C is for Capybara, an animal I hear
Was the largest of rodents ‘til your kid did appear.
D is for Dumbo Octopus, a name that fits you.
E is for Echidna, which I wish your wife said.
F is for Frigatebird, which sounds much akin
To what I wish to say unto you and your kin.
G is for Gerenuk, which is also not a deer.
H is for a place where you might disappear.
I am now leaving to go do my job
And I bid good day to you and your blob.
Filed under Poems
Plane And Simple
While early birds may get the worm
Another truth may make you squirm:
Early birds often get
Sucked into a jet
And thus, to sleep late, I affirm.
Filed under Poems
Am I Sexy And Dangerous Now?
Roses are red.
Vegans are pale.
When they read my blog in 10 years
They’ll probably put me in jail.
Filed under Poems
Shower Thoughts
What if we’re all identical twins
But, when we’re born, the nurse
Gets out an ultra-mega laser
And sets it to “reverse”
And our baby brain goes back in time
To when everyone was biologically unique
And we grow up thinking we’re special
Until the Invisible Ones start to speak?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 