If chickens were the size of whales
We’d cure hunger with one egg.
No one would ever starve again
Or ever have to beg.
We’d have a peaceful planet
With everything we need
Until we learn the bitter truth:
We’d soon be chicken feed…
Tag Archives: Silly
An Old Norse Melody
Odinny boy, the vikes, the vikes are calling
From sea to sea and to Valhalla’s shore.
They’re very drunk, and stock of mead is falling
And so they pray you’ll bless them now with more.
But come ye back when sunlight’s in the meadow
Or when your subjects lounge out on the fjord
And talk to me, future irrev’rant poet
In case you’re done fighting and very, very bjord.
Filed under Poems
Some Assembly Required
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Though it was obvious Humpty would die
Still the king said, “Give the horses a try!”
Filed under Poems
Aldous Approves
There once was a gaudy raven
Who wore a crown, but wasn’t a king.
A pair of humans saw this
And plotted a wicked thing.
They aimed to kill the impostor
So around the land ‘twould be heard:
“Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
“Two kill a mock king bird!”
Filed under Poems
She’s Actually Not, But The Punchline Makes Me Seem Desperate, And Desperation Is Funny
My girl is sexier than yours.
She could knock hinges off doors.
She has pretty knees and toes
And looks good with and without clothes.
She has pretty auburn hair
And says fancy stuff like “Au contraire”.
She’s the girl I’m going to marry…
Who cares if she’s imaginary?
Filed under Poems
Why Adventurers Just Don’t Anymore In 2022
We survived a drowning island.
We endured the burning sand.
We outlasted freezing rain
And our cousin’s cover band.
We’ve outrun giant boulders
And a crazy nazi horde
But when the radio plays songs
By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!
Filed under Poems
When The Mensa Meeting Gets Heated
If someone calls you a snollygoster
And you call them a doxy
Neither of you probably have friends
But you both have plenty of moxie!
Filed under Poems
But If A Doctor Says “Die Jew”, Historians Make A Whole Thing About It…
I don’t know if God is real
But when I went to the doc
I found my religious beliefs attacked
Which was a nasty shock.
He drew some blood, and so I asked
“What’s it called when you do a test?”
Doc said, “Diagnostic”
And I ran away (that seemed best).
Filed under Poems
Middle School Science Be Like… (Also, I Have No Idea What Color Jupiter Is, But Neither Do You, So Ha!)
Mercury is number one,
Venus is where women are from,
Mars is a song with lots of snare drum,
Jupiter is the color of plum,
Saturn has a bunch of rings,
Uranus is full of gas and things,
Neptune’s famed for icy springs,
And Pluto’s demotion to this day stings.
But you probably noticed the dearth
Of a line about the Earth
Because it is devoid of mirth
And is the only planet with Colin Firth.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 