Sometimes you fee like a pop tart,
But sometimes you’re generic toaster strudel.
Sometimes you’re the star of the kennel,
But sometimes you’re a Belgian poodle.
Sometimes you’re the Kleenex
Instead of Kirkland Signature facial tissue.
But on days you feel you’re generic
Know that it’s not a critical issue.
Filed under Poems
I wished upon a star
That I was back on Earth.
Then I was incinerated by the immense heat of the cosmic ball of burning gas
And now wait for rebirth.
Filed under Poems
There once was an eloquent person
Whose mental state started to worsen.
The person was me
As you damn well can see
And that’s why I’m just f***ing cursin’.
Filed under Poems
There was a piece of paper
Atop a tower tall
Who sought to end its lonely life
Through one climactic fall
But when he took that fateful leap
He found out he could fly
And soared for miles in ecstasy
Instead of trying to die.
And when the paper fluttered
To the Earth, it climbed again
And leapt and soared, rinse and repeat,
Or so said CNN.
Filed under Poems
He was black, surrounded by brothers,
Unarmed and defenseless
When a white man came by
To perform something senseless:
The poor black was gutted
And served on a platter
With mediterranean food.
#BlackOlivesMatter
Filed under Poems
There once was a fellow from Sequim
And a gal who was quite into him
She said “I’m from Snoqualmie
“So why don’t you call me?”
This could be only in Warshington.
Filed under Poems
When I said “I like my coffee
“Like my women: Sweet and black.”
My coworker decided
That was a personal attack.
She called the supervisor
Just to say she was offended
And just like that I found I was,
Like Epstein’s neck, suspended.
But now my luck has turned around
And I see that I’m blessed.
I can’t be an oppressor
If I am, in fact, oppressed.
Filed under Poems
Once upon a time, some guy
Said “I know what we need!:
“A kinda boring screensaver
“We also have to feed.”
All the other townspeople
Said “That’s as good as it gets,”
And they all went out to buy themselves
Some fish to keep as pets.
Filed under Poems
Cookies for breakfast,
Pizza for lunch,
Twelve donuts for dinner,
But I did one crunch!
Filed under Poems
Willow, willow, don’t you weep.
Just calm upon the Earth sit.
Your loveliness has but one name:
Arb’oreal: Because you’re worth it.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 