In December I sat on a frozen lake
And fished for rainbow trout.
The next two months I did the same
‘Cause that’s what I’m about.
This Summer I’m vacationing
Somewhere in the Maldives.
I know there’s no ice-fishing there
But I can avoid my 28 wives.
Tag Archives: Silly
When You Break The 11th Commandment
There once was a womxn from Berkeley
Who acted rashly and berserkly.
Zhe drove a non-hybrid car
To an all-vegan bar.
These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.
Filed under Poems
But Why?
The road told the rooster
“You look like a hen.”
The rooster killed the road’s family
And it never crossed the chicken again.
Filed under Poems
The Humpback
If you’re a man trying to hump
A large marine mammal that’s male
If it humps back you may have found
A homosexuwhale.
Filed under Poems
Starched Contrast
“Iron Man” is a hero
Who shoots lasers from his hand.
He has no female counterpart…
“Iron Woman” is a command.
Filed under Poems
More Deep Thoughts
Living a happy and comfortable life
Is like eating a lot of chocolate:
It makes you fat and kills you slowly
But it’s totally worth it.
Filed under Poems
Songs of the American South
Black Lyrics
Sometimes I ponder
That yonder fonder rapper,
That slapper of the fapper
Who use the public crapper
Just writes, night after nights,
Under fluorescent lights
Whatever rhymes, even if that means
He writes more wrongs than rights
‘Cause the whites, they delight
In da light skin they got,
They ain’t thought how we fought
‘Cause our families were caught
And sold in days of old for a handful of gold.
Dig it?
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White Lyrics
Hey baby, I’m thinkin’
That since we’ve been drinkin’
And we got us a truck
Let’s roll up a joint
And drive to make-out point
And shoot us a deer or a duck!
If They Only Had A Brain…
Some zombies caught diseases
That made them long for brains.
Some are raised by the magic
That a necromancer trains.
Some become a zombie for
No reason we can see
But most zombies decided
To major in sociology.
Filed under Poems
One Thing Most Of You Will Never Have To Worry About
If you’re ever taking a walk
And you’re an amateur mime named Jean-Jacques
You’d be an unlucky bloke
If you had a stroke
But oh, how the viewers would talk!
Filed under Poems
Yet More Biblical Scholarship
When Jesus was a baby,
Two or three years maybe,
He probably had a phase of asking “why?”
“Why was I born a Jew?”
“Why’re the sky and water blue?”
“Why don’t wise men ever bring me pie?”
And I’m inspired by Mary,
As her baby she did carry
For It must take considerable skill
To look at Baby God
With a motherly sort of nod
And answer him “Because it is your will.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 