This is Spot.
Spot is a dog.
Spot spots his “spot spot”
(Where spot peed on a log).
Spot spotted Spot’s “spot” spot
In Spot’s “spot spot” spot
But Spot’s spotter, Miss Potter,
Alas spotted not.
Since Miss Potter missed Spot’s spot,
In an act of good will
Spot pointed Miss Potter
But she spotted-not still.
Spot spotted Miss Potter
(His Spotter) her pay
And Spot spotted his “spot spot”
And sped on his way.
Filed under Poems
I can fart for fifteen seconds
With moist gurgles or without
And play almost two octaves
With my gaseous booty shout.
“That’s great,” said Mr. CEO
But they gave the job away
To somebody whose farts cannot
Be heard three miles away.
Filed under Poems
My travel agent pats my back
And loads me in the trough
And says “You’re saving CO2”
And then I’m taking off.
*Short for “Trebuchet Substitute Anyone?”
Filed under Poems
The fact that we’ve been through how many wars
And nobody’s realized yet
That dropping skunks is way cheaper than dropping bombs
Shows just how dumb humans can get.
Filed under Poems
We’ve finally reached the place
Where Hollywood’s gotten so mid
Black actors are turning down starring roles
And bringing milk home for their kid.
Filed under Poems
Every GPS should say
“Make a U-turn here for course correction”
On bridges, highways, and the like
To speed up natural selection.
Filed under Poems
I was traveling on a train going 50 miles per hour
When another train passed by us going the other way
I wasn’t certain of its speed, origin, or destination
But I remembered what I learned in school and wisely noted, “A”
Filed under Poems
I consider myself pretty smart
And I have an insight into art:
More people would read
Poetry if indeed
More poets would use the word “fart”
Filed under Poems
Some people are scared of robots
But I think we should put them in school
Because people would grow up with them
And think they’re really cool
And if a not-a-robot kid
Would give the teachers sass
It’d be just fine to get them in line
By kicking a robot’s ass.
Filed under Poems
For those who want to differentiate
Between “Fiction” and “Literature”
Here’s a handy-dandy little guide:
It’s fiction if the story
Has a point and ends in glory.
Literature ends when boring people die.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 