I think that absolute proof
That a time machine exists
Is the fact that someone went back in time
And found a T-Rex
And said “Aww yeah… T-Rex….”
And then got eaten
And nobody has time traveled since.
Tag Archives: Time
Our Turn
At wee early hour on the hills by my home
I’d knock on your door, heart a burning
To dance there with you
And the golden morning dew,
Giving thanks that the world keeps a turning.
When sun finally breaks, gold and heavy that morn
And we stride proud below sky a burning
I’ll feel like a king
With the first bud of the Spring
And give thanks that the world keeps a turning.
The sun at it’s apex, a blanket beneath,
And two lovers for picnic are yearning.
Her hair smooth as silk
They drink honey and the milk
In the garden of Earth, still a turning.
As years turn to lifetimes and bodies to dust
The couple does not cease their learning.
They lie, cold and still
And the two become the hill,
Still part of the world ever turning.
Remember the sunshine. Remember the lifetime.
Remember the sweet butter churning.
Remember the dawn
For someday the Earth will yawn
And together we’ll rest from the turning.
I Did Plans D-ZZ For You… You’re Welcome
Sometimes you make a plan A, B, and C
But the world just is what it chooses to be
And while we can see it as a half-full cup
Sometimes it’s more fun just to mess some stuff up!
On somewhat of a tangent, I’m really keen
On the idea of making a time machine
That does a time loop, Groundhog Day style
And mess some stuff up for an infinite while.
You’re consequence-free for a lifetime or two,
Testing out various versions of you.
Don’t like the result of a particular day?
Just jump off a cliff and try a new way!
And if you are sad knowing this isn’t real,
Believe me, I get it! I know how you feel…
So think of it this way (This gets kinda heady)
You’ve been in and finished a time loop already.
You’ve lived endless lives of the same day again
And you’ve kissed all the ladies and shot all the men
And learned Japanese and solved nuclear fusion
And finally came to a stunning conclusion:
With infinite time, with no way to fail,
With no threat of death, embarrassment, jail
Your life loses meaning if you only win it
So you used your last time loop to think for a minute,
Inventing a button that made time go back
To a day at a time, with a total lack
Of memory concerning your endless days
Of repeating your time in all different ways.
You’ve already learned that making mistakes
Is sometimes exactly what happiness takes,
But if you still need to shoot a TV
To burn some frustration, that’s alright by me!
Filed under Poems
One Day
How often do people say
“There aren’t enough hours in a day”?
But imagine a moment there were:
Picture a day with unlimited hours
For the sweetest of meals and the hottest of showers,
A day without limits of what you can learn,
How hard you can play, how much you can earn,
A day you can retry as much as you like;
You can say something stupid or fall off your bike
Without any fear, any anger or sorrow
Because all who saw you are now in tomorrow
While you’re still enjoying a day with no end
Side by side with a lover, a parent, a friend.
Now what if this day that went on and on
Had many an evening and many a dawn
And seasons and fashions pass by as you walk
At a slow, steady pace with no thought of a clock,
And you had sunny weather and hail and snow
And famine and fortune and high things and low?
That day went so long you were gray in the hair
And your skin started sagging and you’re just halfway there
To the end of a day with no finish in sight,
Growing old, doing good, all the while feeling right.
You remember a detail you knew all along
About what will come when the long day is gone:
When you see the last touchdown and rise of the sun
You’ll not shed a tear that you only got one;
You’ll feel no envy for those who keep going
Because this whole day, your whole life, you’ve lived knowing
You have all the time you will need, so you say
“Thank you for a life lasting only one day.”
Filed under Poems
Arrive At Five Bro
When you drive to pick her up
And leave at 4:15
She says she’ll be ready in 10 minutes
But we the wise have seen
That when a woman tells you
When she’ll be ready is the same
As the way the measure how long’s left
At the end of a football game.
Filed under Poems
But It Won’t… So There
Tonight I watched a movie
That made me cry
About an awkward redhead
Who can travel through time.
He learned that living every day
As if it is your last
Is the key to perfect happiness,
Not reliving the past.
Unlike awkward redhead dude
I can’t control the ages,
Can’t redo my past mistakes
Or rewrite history’s pages.
What I can do that others can’t
Is make the time you spend
Be used to wish my poetry
Would finally freakin’ end.
Filed under Poems
Watch Out
There once was a clock on a wrist
That one day became rather pissed.
It said “Time isn’t real,
“So how does that feel?”
Now it is for sale on Craigslist.
Filed under Poems
Perchance to Dream
She was a girl too much alive for breathing,
Not more than an imaginary friend.
She met a man resentful of existence
For not obeying his command to bend.
She traded skins one hour in an evening
To walk among the mortals so beneath her
While the uncreative man whose shell she conquered
Took a stroll among the heavens, robed in ether.
The woman learned the pain of being solid
And how the road at night can smell of pine.
The man learned how to be imaginary
And why a drop of sunlight chose to shine.
And when the 60 minutes finished ticking
On a clock men made to solve the question, “when?”
The woman disappeared again forever
And the man awoke to be himself again.
Filed under Poems
The String Theory of Christmas
‘Twas the night after Christmas
And the night before too…
Santa worked with the time machine
‘Til he turned blue,
For he needed to ship out
A few billion presents
To all of the children
Of all of the peasants.
The flux gear grew wonky
(Which you’ll see is not great)
And entangled poor Santa
Into some quantum state.
For Santa existed
And yet he did not,
As is demonstrable by
Some guy “Schroedinger’s” thought.
And so if you ask
“Mama, is Santa flying?”
She should say “yes AND no,”
Or else mama is lying.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 