The Right
NASCAR is America’s favorite sport,
And know I think I know why:
They keep turning left over and over
Until they crash, burn, and die.
———————————————————–
The Left
NASCAR is America’s sport,
But the first guy does not understand:
If the drivers do not turn left fast enough
The kill random folks in the stands.
————————————————————
The Highly Intelligent
NASCAR is America’s sport,
But I prefer monster trucks.
At least we agree on the important stuff,
Which is to agree soccer sucks.
Filed under Poems
Once I took viagra
And had an erection for 36 hours.
That’s a lot of power from a pill!
When, of it, my doctor learned
He said “don’t be concerned,”
But I still had 35 hours and 58 minutes to kill.
Filed under Poems
I like hiking by the stream.
I like the taste of whipping cream.
I like having a happy dream.
Also, the electric chair.
Filed under Poems
A long time ago in Pacote
A princess would swim in the moat.
A frog said “I’m a knight,”
So she kissed him. That night
She wound up with a frog in her throat.
Filed under Poems
I wonder if the island folks,
The island dames and island blokes,
Get upset when coconuts
Breastfeed their kids out of their cocohuts.
Yes, I’m tired. Liking my posts helps me sleep. You know you want to…
Filed under Poems
Jimmy is our drummer
And Johnny plays guitar
And Danny knows a guy
Who knows a guy who owns a bar.
Eddy is our singer
And our charismatic face.
When we get to the venue
We’ll teach someone to play the bass.
Filed under Poems
There once was a poet from WA
Who flew this morning to CA.
He rode in car
And it’s been good so far.
Also, he’s tired. HaHA!
Filed under Poems
Tonight I came to realize
That if you see the world through another’s eyes
You might see, through this new view,
That someone made a horror movie based on the sick, eye-stealing you.
Filed under Poems
Hollywood makes movies,
Then they make sequels,
Then they remake them,
And then they make prequels.
That’s how it goes
According to me
So here are some prequels
That I’d like to see:
Schindler’s College-Ruled Notebook;
Leon: The Trainee;
The Lambs Being Noisy;
American History V;
Reservoir Puppies;
Work-Visa Kane:
Wall-D; The Fifth Sense;
Wayne’s Global-Domination Campaign;
The Accelerating and Cranky;
“No Thanks, I Just Ate” Games;
Dragon Ball Y;
“No Bail For Me” James;
2000: Just Earth;
And last but not least:
“Be-Careful-Who-You-Call-Ugly-In-Middle-School” and the Beast.
Filed under Poems
Your presence is like ice cream
Eaten with a wooden spoon
While a puppy sits upon my lap
Some Sunday afternoon.
Your voice is like a raindrop
After seven years of drought.
I’m acting like a macho dude
For fear that you’ll find out.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 