Of all the times to be alive
Today is number one.
We’ve cured most bad diseases
And optimized our fun.
Our problems are the first-world type,
But what still seems kind of weird
Is that I was born when it’s fashionable
To be a bald guy with a beard.
Tag Archives: Travesty
The Real Party Is Getting 7-9 Hours Of Sleep Every Night
It’s Friday night
And the bar is hoppin’.
Folks are tired
From Christmas shoppin’.
All around
Drinks off are toppin’
And fists do fly
And guys be droppin’
But I don’t know
What pills they’re poppin’
‘Cause my bed said “Hi”
And into it I drop in.
Filed under Poems
Be Me, A 30-Year-Old Child
Wrapping paper tube
In my mind a light saber
Wife is not impressed
Filed under Poems
Guess What Part Of The Movie I Wrote This During?
What if we had a recognizable person
Talk over some muzak
About a mega corporation
About which they’re unenthusiastic
And we’ll have an inoffensive joke
Where a dad does something silly?
That’ll make people desire
To pay us willy-nilly!
Filed under Poems
Care To Wager How Long It Lasts?
So I was complaining (as most people do)
About things that I cannot halt
Like children addicted to iPads and also
Society as a gestalt
So I turned on a game at 10 in the morning
That finished at 10 in the night
And proceeded to burn my complaining permit
And accept that the world is all right.
Filed under Poems
Ode To Brian Thompson
There was an insurance exec
Who got shot in the street. What the heck?
But instead of mass fear
Folks just let out a cheer,
Now relieved of one pain in the neck.
Filed under Poems
I’m, Uh, Wrapping Your Gifts? (Hehehe)
It’s the holiday season
Which is great for this reason:
It’s the only time of the year
That fully guilt-free
You can cut down a tree
And tell people “Don’t come in here!”
Filed under Poems
Actual Photo Of Our Christmas Tree…
It’s Friday night
And I’ve learned a bit
About Christmas trees
And how they fit.
Filed under Poems
And Yet Businesses Still Do This… (Not The Kidnapping Part Though… Yet)
So a friend of mine got kidnapped
And they sent a ransom link.
It said “click here to see the ransom price”.
I’ll never see him again, I think.
Filed under Poems
This Is How Video Games Ask “WTF?”
You’d not saved your game in a while
So I made you an autosaved file
Yet as hard as I slaved
You still manually saved
As if I harbored some sort of guile?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 