Cheerleaders always turned me on
Since I was a boy of 10,
So when Biden got elected
I was delighted that CNN
And every major outlet
Of mainstream American news
Became unabashed cheerleaders
Shouting “Give us I, give us O, give us U’s!”
Tag Archives: Truth
If The Analogy Works Dat Thang…
Remember Mandy the stripper?
The one who showed you her rear
Before she leaned in close to you
And whispered in your ear,
“You’re the one I’m dancing for,”
So you slip her 20 bucks?
That’s basically how the government works
And why I say it sucks.
Filed under Poems
Dear Conspiracy Theorists…
Some people believe
That our world will be conquered
By satanic lizards from Mars.
To those folks I say,
“Don’t be scared… it’s okay.
“Their rulers are better than ours!”
Filed under Poems
Random Thought of the Day
Roses are red,
My car’s a two-seater.
Everything’s a piñata
If you’re not a picky eater.
Filed under Poems
Some Things Must Never Be Said In Civilized Company
I interviewed a guy today
Who seemed a classy man;
A graduate from Harvard
Who served in Afghanistan,
An ally to the homeless
Who kept them clothed and fed.
He was well-prepared, as well as
Well-dressed and well-read.
The only box that wasn’t checked
For this supreme go-getter
Was when he said “the warm side
Of the pillow feels better.”
How Important Is The Vaccine?
.00000005
Is the percent of Americans infected during this pandemic.
.00000005
Is evidence corruption is systemic.
If a million people gathered in a single room
And .00000005 percent got sick as hell
Then of the million gathered there would tell you
One twentieth of one of them might feel a bit unwell.
.00000005
Is a number sixteen syllables long.
And yet it shut down the world for a year
And you ask me what I think is wrong?
Sources:
Population Clock –
Census.gov/popclock
New York Times –
Nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-us-cases.html
Filed under Poems
Be Me At 11:49
There once was a poet from here
Who enjoyed quite a bit of good cheer.
He ran out of time
To make comedy rhyme
But I’ll be better soon, never fear!
Filed under Poems
Identity Crisis
Once a boy wondered if it was okay
That he wanted to feel like a woman someday;
Once a girl asked if she’d feel more joy
If she looked and acted and spoke like a boy;
One adult wondered, for they had forgotten,
If youth was a blessing or if it were rotten;
And so this went on for more than forever
In the weak and the strong and the dumb and the clever.
Behind every eye is a mind that is yearning
To know if their heart is the only one burning,
To know if their fears are the same as their neighbors
And whether they’ll ever bear fruit from their labors.
They seek refuge from the onslaught of “uncertain,”
Ever straining to peek at what’s behind the curtain,
Answering tests that will never be graded
‘Til the years pass them by and the memories are faded.
And Amy and Andrew and Zelda and Zane
Will all long for comfort and cry from their pain,
And only the wisest know what they must do:
Merely listen intently and say what is true.
Filed under Poems
The Intimacy Of Distance
Sometimes to be yourself it seems
A friend just will not do,
For one may fear a friend will know
About the real you.
And so when one must tell the truth
With all its hidden dangers
One turns to find one’s solace
In the waiting ears of strangers.
And yet in sharing what you are
With someone you don’t know,
In starting with the basic stuff
And moving far too slow
You find that what you hoped for
Is alive and omnipresent
And that a world that judged you
Now appears… could it be pleasant?
Did you see the sun came out
And know that fruit is sweet
And music’s free for everyone
And smiles fill the street?
Sometimes just to be yourself
Needs strength you do not feel
So thank God for the strangers
And the ways they help us heal.
Filed under Poems
Why Adults Matter
Life is an X-Rated video game
And we are the gigantic foes
That stop young players from seeing things
Until their character grows.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 