Category Archives: Poems

A 30-Something’s Review of Fortnite

In my day, our violent games

Were about shooting guys and taking names.

Now you skydive, camp, and swim

And randomly change from her to him,

Running from a big pink cloud

And avoiding things that are scary or loud.

When I was young, you daren’t mess up

But now I guess we get to dress up?

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Endings Are Overrated. Candles, Not So Much.

Lights are flickering.

Dire rain and wind give me

An excuse to post…

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Six Years Old And Already Screaming About Stuff That Doesn’t Matter

Today I taught a first-grade class

And of the 18 kids

Six were joys, six were invisible,

And six blew off their lids.

So one of three will be successful

And one in three will be cute

And one in three do nothing, but loudly

Which is just who the Feds will recruit.

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The Only Kong Will Be Donkey

Some people want no kings

But I don’t think that’s proper

‘Cause when I feel hungry

I want to eat a Whopper.

I like Californian sports teams

And extra-roomy beds,

Good poker hands and Aragorn

And Starks who are also Neds.

A bunch of schools will have to change

Their mascots. Other things

Will cause unexpected results

If we really have no kings.

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We’ve Come A Long Way Since 867-5309

The upside of the “6-7” trend

Is that it may show the unheralded end

Of kids saying “420-69”

Which makes me feel better than fine.

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No Change Is Good Change?

Thanks to a heroic protest

With an anti-monarchical request

I’m happy to say

That as of today

No kings have, our freedom, transgressed.

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Comfort or Fitness: How Will You Help Me?

If you ask my pronouns

I’ll answer with a smile.

If you tell me yours

I’ll sprint at least a mile.

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When School Gives You Hope

Sunday evening ends.

Glitch in time. It’s Saturday.

Yay, quantum physics!

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We’re Living In A Fairy Tale

Once, there were some evil kings

Who did a lot of evil things.

As times go, it was not pleasant.

Unfortunately, that time’s the present.

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Unfowtunate

I’m a dwagon, big and stwong.

I bweathe fiwe all night long.

I can cwush you in the blink of an eye

But no one’s come to slay me. Why?

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