If you’re rude to the people
Who print drivers’ licenses
They have a pretty cool trick:
They take a photo
Of your face
But actually it’s a dick pic.
Category Archives: Poems
Dog Years
I was a teenager after a year,
Middle aged by the time I was two.
I’d spend months in a minute chasing a ball
And spent weekends taking a poo.
A scratch on my ears was an hour in heaven
Though it seemed but a second to man.
I wonder if master can feel my time
And pray one of his seconds he can.
Filed under Poems
Not The Solution We Need, But The Solution We Deserve…
Thousands of New Yorkers
Are dying every day,
Yet no one has the courage
To step on up and say
“Send every smart-mouthed teenager
“Some radioactive Purell.”
We could have superheroes by now
But the government says “Oh well…”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Bright Side?
In Venice, the dolphins are happy,
Galavanting in the canals;
Some folks say that Covid is the reason.
The people of Miami
Have big smiles as well
Because their Dolphins might not play this season!
Filed under Poems
AI Is Commenting About Itself… Welcome To April
Today I saw this comment
Responding to a poem of mine.
He read the poem as many times
As I’ve had valentines.
He thought it was informative,
So unless I am a loon
I suspect that “Michael Pearson”
Will be in congress soon.
Filed under Poems
So Are The Neighbors Happy Or Not?
I played some screamo-metal music
In my yard the other day.
Now the grass is black,
And the lawn cuts itself, so yay?
Filed under Poems
My Musings On The Economy
I’m a musician in Washington state.
Governor Inslee extended the date
Of the “Stay home, stay safe” order,
Banning two months of shows.
How I’ll make those 12 bucks back, nobody knows…
Filed under Poems
I Was So Upset, I Didn’t Even Write the Next 2.5 Stanzas!
A man sold me some wood the other day.
He said “This is the best you’ll ever get.”
But when I set the wood on fire I saw
Cars painted on the sides, and knew ’twas shit.
Filed under Poems
Pers…omething?
Sometimes I think I’m a genius,
The zenith of human existence,
But then I give up to early
Because I can’t think of an appropriate word…
Filed under Poems
Individuality, But At What Caust?
A black guy names his kid J’Kwon
And no one bats an eye.
In Florida kids are named X-wing
And no one asks them why.
I choose a name like this
For the son I fathered
But when I say “My son, Z’Kyle”
The jews get hot and bothered…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 