If instead of wearing masks
And going to school and work online
We had just put on some badass capes
The kids would all be fine.
Category Archives: Poems
Free Speech And Its Consequences (Blue State Edition)
Fire truck is red and bright,
Its sirens wailing in the night,
Filled with heroes of to save
A sassy lass or naive nave.
Fire truck goes very fast
And makes a whoosh as it goes past.
The fire sought by me was started
Because the neighbors said “retarded.”
Filed under Poems
My Conversation Tomorrow After I Get To Work With Two Hours Of Sleep
D and D went long.
We were fighting evil frogs!
What do you mean, “Nerd”?
Filed under Poems
The Gospel According To Some Doofus Poet
I like the idea that there was a caveman
Who coincidentally looked like Jesus
And when Jesus’s body was hidden away
The caveman came out just to please us
And seeing society for the first time
He didn’t know what else to do
So he used his caveman magic
And up into heaven he flew.
Meanwhile, actual Jesus
Woke up after three days or so
But everyone said he’d already ascended
And, to heaven, he’d no need to go
So he went back to being a carpenter
And made many beautiful shims
And sent every customer home with a smile
And said many, “Nope, I just look like him”s.
Filed under Poems
If You Can’t Beat ‘Em
If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em.
They’ll expect tou join them instead
So you have the element of surprise
If you beat ‘em and mess with their head.
Filed under Poems
Good… You’re Finally Awake!
There once was a dragonborn chap
Who fell into an Imperial trap.
But in an odd twist
He was not on the list
And then down a dragon did flap…
Filed under Poems
Qatar Is Just Protecting Their Spanish Friends From Flooding
So Trump accepted a gifted plane
Worth half a billion dollars
Which prompted a lot of random folks
To become morning radio callers.
But with regards to blame
And deciding on whom to pin it
You should know the rain in Spain
Is apparently mainly in it.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 