Category Archives: Poems

And Then When WordPress Deletes Your Spaces Upon Publishing So You Have To Right/Center Align Stuff Instead… That’s Having An Editor!

poetry

is the art

of making things

really hard to

read

through

arbitrary

spacing

and forgetting to capitalize words

Unless

They

Make

An

impact

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Baptist Easter

Two-Thousand Twenty-Five years ago

Judas told Jesus “YOLO”

But Jesus, lacking any fear

Said “Judas, my brudda, holdeth my beer.”

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Nightmare? Or Dream Job?

Curtains rise. Spotlight.

I am in my underwear.

Modeling is weird.

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He’s Exploring Alternate Channels…

There once was a man in DC

Who wrote bill A11-03.

Before it was codified

Its contents were modified

And now it’s illegal to pee.

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Is This How Marketing Works?

Are you ugly?

Do you have a small penis?

Can you delineate the difference

Between a species and a genus?

If you answered no

To any of these questions

Then you’ll enjoy my poetry!

Here are some suggestions

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It’s Working, Comrades!

I heard that Disney has discovered

A group of Russian bots

Has left many “Snow White” reviews

All filled with toxic thoughts.

I’m truly flabbergasted

That AI has come so far

As to accurately review a film

That deserves that single star.

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Gentlemen Prefer S#%^+ing At Home

If I can see through the ply

I think I’d rather die.

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If You Know, You Know

Fan, fan, fan

You married a man

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TSA*

My travel agent pats my back

And loads me in the trough

And says “You’re saving CO2”

And then I’m taking off.

*Short for “Trebuchet Substitute Anyone?”

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Feminism Did That

So babe, I heard you want a ring.

You need to know there’s just one thing…

You already have one in your nose

And that’s why thus your love life goes.

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