I think poetic ducks
Have a fondness for fresh cumin
Since that enables many jokes
Of mallards shouting “human!”
Category Archives: Poems
Alt Wisdom
Never be nervous to be who you are.
Don’t be afraid to be you.
Don’t feel scared to ask “whyever so?”
When the other owls only ask “who?”
Filed under Poems
I Made Them For You!
Goats don’t make good rolling pins:
That’s how this recipe begins.
They kick and spit and stomp and bray
But my cookies taste fine anyway.
Filed under Poems
What A Ruffled Life He Lays
The sound of screaming guitars
And the smell of burning tires
A flash of purple lightning
And your flavor on my lips,
A lightness in my beating heart
Merges with everburning fires
As my vision fades to black
And I see my life is a commercial for chips.
Rich People Suck Or Something, But Not Really…
You may be a man of means
Who’s healthy, wealthy, and wise. You
Sure may be a man of means
And if so I must despise you
For if you are a man of means
Your good luck clouds your head
For who would be a man of means
And not a man of nices instead?
Filed under Poems
…Which Is In 52 Minutes Because Life
I’m grateful for my blessings.
I’m thankful for my friends.
My family’s a wellspring
Through which all my trouble ends.
I’ve so much joy I’ll lend it out
To those who need to borrow,
But I won’t express my gratitude;
I’m saving it for tomorrow.
Filed under Poems
Illustration Omitted… You’re Welcome
Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a pony.
Scooby and gang ripped his face off
Proving he’s a phony!
Filed under Poems
The Ending No One Saw Coming!
I never thought I’d be happy
To lose the shirt off my back,
To run out of money, be told I’m not funny,
And become some animal’s snack.
I’d never thought I’d be happy
To have that stuff happen to me
And as it turns out they still haven’t
So I guess life is going as expected.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 