She says “What?”
I say “Your butt.”
Then we both smile
And snuggle a while.
Category Archives: Poems
Social Media
There once was a dancing woman
Wearing as little as legal
Dancing while some AI hip-hop played
Advertising food for her beagle.
A number of bots decided
It was worth watching ten million times.
It’s probably better on TikTok
But hey, my version rhymes!
Filed under Poems
Management
If you add “executive” to the front
Or “Coordinator” to the end
Of the title of any job
The message that you send
Is “I could do your job
“But instead I watch and frown
“Because I make twice your salary
“And why isn’t your noise more brown?”
Filed under Poems
Seahawks Fans Right Now
So a battle of birds did occur
And the Seahawks did not make me “grr”.
“Are we good?” asked my friend
And based on this trend
I can solidly say “I’m not sure.”
Filed under Poems
Being 30
I voted today for the president.
Then with my civic duty complete
I played Mario Party with teenagers
And had waffles with whipped cream to eat.
Filed under Poems
Writing With The End In Mind
There was a rude doctor
Who played a card game.
His deck featured ducks
And was pretty lame,
Almost as bad as
The Cowboys’ quarterback.
Yes, I can confirm
Dick doc’s duck deck’s like Dak.
Filed under Poems
Europe
If yous adde a bunche if extras lietters
Tou wordse, butx theiy’re alle silente
Yous maiye beye a french personne.
Meanwhileingermanyaddingspacesisviolent
Filed under Poems
Magic The Gathering
There once was a guy from Renton
Who got to work on inventin’
Some colorful cards
Full of dragons and bards
And now my bankroll is lamentin’
Filed under Poems
The Season of Sugar Pills
I don’t like Halloween
But I like clinical trials.
Debating whether I got a placebo
Fills my life with smiles.
So in a manner of speaking
Spooky season is still real neat
Because thanks to modern medicine
You still ask “trick or treat?”
Filed under Poems
If We Change “Private” To “Assistant Director Of Infantry Fieldwork And Individual Contributor To Combat Superiority” Maybe More People Would Enlist?
Instead of drafting young people
Without an education
And sending them to fight for us
In a far-off destination
Why don’t we draft the people who
Have four words or more in their job
Because they’re clearly competent
And if they die nobody will sob?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 