Rosa Chinensis is vermillion
Viola Sororia is cerulean.
Whether or not I write with a thesaurus
Can be expressed as a value that’s boolean.
Category Archives: Poems
The Hero We Need…
So mesa was a thinkin’
Yousa complainin’ all about
This election between the grandpas
Who’s a handle and a spout
‘Cause a woopsie in white house
Followed by an oopsie-dee
Makes you thinky, given options,
You’lda even vote for meeee!
Filed under Poems
The Parabola Is Beginning Its Descent…
In 1999 the Matrix took the red pill.
In 2012, the Avengers were assembled.
In 2025 we’ll get the fifth Fantastic Four.
And now you understand just why I trembled.
Filed under Poems
Hard Times Make Good Complainers… Good Complainers Make Good Comedy
Say what you will about hard times and such
But I am certain about this much:
When everything’s bad, we have more variety
Of things to go off on when we lose our sobriety.
Filed under Poems
International Women’s Day
Across the world we celebrate
The folks with whom we wish to mate
Who possess many powers neat
But don’t know what they want to eat.
Without them the economy would crash
And people would buy more with cash.
The roads would probably be safer
And nobody would use the word “wafer”.
Clothes would only come in gray
And everybody’d end up gay
So I for one am grateful that
We have women, and that is that.
Filed under Poems
Now THIS Is Entertainment
Instead of the Olympics
What if we just had a day
Where everyone from every sport
Would simultaneously play
And the discusses and javelins
And basketballs and gymnasts
Would fly around the hockey rink
For both speed and long distance.
They should have a draft like those
We had in middle school
And we’d finally find out whose
Sport is the most least cool.
The only thing to ruin
This remarkable event
And make the people who showed up
Regret the cash they spent
Is if the Olympic commissioners
(Or whatever they call those fools)
Has the audacity to tell us
That this game will have “rules”.
Filed under Poems
Road Trip With The Toddler
I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk honk honk
I am a mom
I want to die
Filed under Poems
Your Tax Dollars At Work #7,419
Before every movie you watch
There’s an FBI warning and on it
Is a message that vows either prison or fines
If you copy the movie and pawn it.
Meanwhile, in 38 states
Shoplifting a movie is legal.
I think it’s time the the FBI bird
Was replaced by a drunk cross-eyed seagull.
Filed under Poems
Who’s With Me, America?
I want to see a game show
Where people say on air
Honest things that they believe
And why we ought to care
And then I, with my family,
Will discuss what has been said
And then have a sip of water
Before slipping off to bed.
Filed under Poems
When They Started Using Those “Printer” Things, Everything Went Downhill…
When the Roman Empire fell
People thought “This isn’t swell”
And for a while they were right
And all the world was dark as night.
Then a guy named Gutenberg
Turned out to be a giant nerd
And invented a thing called a printing press
Which writers say reduced their stress.
After this, a rennaissance
Began, and then a war in France
And freedom became the big buzzword
That people gravitated toward.
Now as another empire falls
I wish we’d have the collective balls
To look how we got in this mess
And demand they bring back the printing press.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 