Sorry Mom!

Yesterday I launched a book.

My mother went to take a look.

She clicked on the link I left

And found herself feeling bereft.

Turns out the link I left was lame

And I’m the only one to blame.

Try this link instead! I hope

That this time I am not a dope.

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Launch Day!

Hello dear readers!

I write you today

With a break from the “ick”

And a fair dose of “yay”.

Available now

Is my most recent book,

Selected poems on love.

Go ahead! Take a look!

It’s called “Cheaper Than Flowers”

And that is the truth.

If you order now

It will not be uncouth:

It’s a wonderful gift

For Valentine’s day

For that lover of yours

Who just won’t go away…

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The Superbowl… Biden Vs. Trump… Yeah, We’re In A Loop

The groundhog saw his shadow

And the Summer’s coming soon.

Now we have another choice:

Giant meteor or typhoon?

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Live To Fight Another Month

There once was a man with a wife

Who, for some reason, valued his life.

Twas the week of the shark,

So he went to the park

Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.

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Social Media Press Releases

You know that one app

That you use every day

With a UX that’s perfect

In every way?

About that… I’ve great nees

To share here today:

We’ve launched a new update!

You just have to pay…

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Do I Sense A Theme?

So somebody made a game called Palworld

That’s like Pokemon with guns

But instead of having free healthcare

It’s a survival game, which is fun.

The last time that I can remember

About Japanese monsters with guns

Was either the movie Godzilla

Or 1945 with megatons…

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My Superbowl Thoughts

On the one hand, I’m disappointed.

On the other hand, I am ok

That I don’t have to spend my whole afternoon

Watching both teams I hate get to play.

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F***ing Chiefs Again? Really? Even Hollywood Is More Creative…

There once was a high football tier

That played Winter and Fall every year.

One day a guy tripped

But it wasn’t in the script

But the refs smiled and said “Hold my beer.”

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When You’re Under Orders To Neglect Your Duty

When your nation makes it illegal

To enforce our most basic of laws

It signals that our compliance

Must end, or at least go on pause.

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If Only My Hat Could Use Google Images…

I entered an area

Where hard hats were required.

Now I need to find a hot female hat

Or I just might get fired.

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