The nurse said “I’m Aquarius!”
The lab tech said “I’m Virgo!”
I said “I’m a Cancer!”
The doctor said “I know.”
Tag Archives: Bad
Okay Zoomer
In the future, little kids
Will visit their Grandma’s houses
And bring along 3D-printed candy
And all four of their spouses
And in between rounds of “Doom 35”
Grandma will tell the tale
Of how when she was a little boy
It was hip to say “epic fail.”
Filed under Poems
New England Whalers (I Looked It Up)
Since I’m now in the habit
Of poems that are quick:
Whoever named Sperm Whales
Was really a dick.
Filed under Poems
I’m Sleepy, You Have Low Expectations… Let’s Compromise
Brevity is a virtue…
Perfect rhyming too
I have one of those
Filed under Poems
Excuses, Excuses (Published August 20th Wink wink yay time zones)
Tonight I went to Alaska
In my imagination
For a very lively
Nine-minute vacation.
The reason that I took
Was to say that it’s alright
And my daily streak’s unbroken
Thanks to an imaginary flight.
Filed under Poems
The Minority Excel
Plenty of folks can come up with jokes,
But fewer deliver them well,
Many a person can think up a product,
But few of those products can sell,
A whole host can fail at many endeavors
But few of them fail with grace,
And prisons are full of a criminal plenty
But most of them share the same race.
Filed under Poems
I Did Not Plan This, But I’m Not Mad
Today I drive a long, long time
So you’ll have to settle for yesterday’s rhyme
Filed under Poems
It’s A Joke About Thyme, But Alas, It Won’t Rhyme
There once was a guy from Scarborough
Who was fair, but not very thorough.
He made food, garnished sparsely
With sage, rosemary, and parsley
But alas, he didn’t take time enough.
Filed under Poems
Even If Big Eddie Says “I’ll Snuggle You After”
When a guy goes to prison
He calls up his wife
And says, “Though I’m in here
“For 15 to life
“I want you to hold off
“From having sex with other guys.”
His wife says “You too,”
Because she’s just that wise.
Filed under Poems
“Write A Poem With Silver And Orange… You Can’t”
All that is gold does not glitter;
All that is green does not grow;
But all that is orange and all that is silver
Will not have an easy rhyme though.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 