I heard him tell her “You’re breathtaking,”
And I thought “That’s nice, isn’t it.”
Then I realized it was a guy with a lisp
Who just punched his wife on the tit.
Tag Archives: Black Humor
Now That’s A Team That’s Cooking With Gas
Vikings killed a lot of folks;
Bears and lions too.
Warriors kill a lot of folks
‘Cause that’s just what they do.
Tigers, dolphins, bulldogs, eagles
Kill lots of stuff, and yet
No high school that I know of
Has picked a Hitler mascot yet.
Filed under Poems
It’s 11:48 And I’m A Horrible Person
Today I cut onions
And everyone cried.
Onions was a good dog;
It’s a shame that he died.
Filed under Poems
Imagery (You’re Welcome)
I have trouble sleeping now
Because I had a dream
Involving my first cousin
And a gallon of whipped cream.
If you don’t think that’s creepy
Here’s the cherry on the top:
I live in Mississippi
So my cousin is my pop.
Filed under Poems
The American Dream
Imagine a world
With doubt, fear, or hate,
Where all have a warm bed
And a full dinner plate,
Where soft is the water
And fertile the soil.
Now let’s bomb that place
And steal their oil!
Filed under Poems
Pet Peeves
Sometimes when I get frustrated
I throw my mouse at the floor.
After I get frustrated
I can’t go to that vet anymore.
Filed under Poems
Diversity
Some folks are really heavy
And some are very thin.
Some have different genitals
And different colored skin.
There’s lots of types of accents,
Many different colored hairs
But everybody’s equal
When you push ’em down the stairs.
Filed under Poems
Canadian Muslim Problems
In December I sat on a frozen lake
And fished for rainbow trout.
The next two months I did the same
‘Cause that’s what I’m about.
This Summer I’m vacationing
Somewhere in the Maldives.
I know there’s no ice-fishing there
But I can avoid my 28 wives.
Filed under Poems
But Why?
The road told the rooster
“You look like a hen.”
The rooster killed the road’s family
And it never crossed the chicken again.
Filed under Poems
Board Games In Baltimore
We sat down to play
The latest version of Clue,
Read through the rulebook
To check what was new,
Saw a new character
Named “Mr. Not-White”
And we shouted “Case closed”
And called it a night.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 