I think a good name for a dog
Is “Help”
Because when you call after it
Other people look at you
And some of those lookers
Are rich and/or sexy
And enjoy the company
Of cheekily named dogs
And their owners…
Just sayin’.
Tag Archives: Free Verse
You Expected A Rhyme? I Expected A Nurturing Home Environment. Ha!
If you’re the type of person
Who’d name their child “Splorch”
I want to meet you
Because my name is Splorch
And my parents left me
When I was young
And you’re probably them.
Filed under Poems
Hard Hypotheticals
If I could clone myself
And make an evil twin
I probably wouldn’t.
But somewhere out there
The guy whose evil twin
Would’ve killed Hitler
Is regretting his choice
Not to make an evil clone.
Now I’m doubting my decision…
Filed under Poems
It’s All Aroun’, Bringin’ Us Down
What comes up
Must come down.
What goes sideways, as it turns out
Also must come down.
What doesn’t move at all
Never will go up.
It is for these reasons
That gravity makes a crappy topic
For poetry.
Filed under Poems
Information Technology
Glory to the makers
Of electronic devices
For they have made available
All the knowledge of man
Yet only they know
How the heck the darn things work.
Filed under Poems
Regarding The Going-On of Hearts (Near, Far, Wherever…)
As icy water wraps me
Like Satan’s comfort blanket
The naked truth hits me
Like one of my French girls.
I realize that I will die
And almost certainly not win an Oscar.
I look out on the ocean,
Green waves far away massage
Where the shore’s shoulders would be
If the shore had shoulders.
A cold wind turns the surface
Into a speckled visage,
The watery face of a teenage boy
If that’s what the ocean were.
Leagues below, seaweed dances
As a beloved mermaid sings
About how unsatisfied she is
With royalty and wealth.
All I hear is screaming,
The sound of burning wreckage
Sinking below the surface,
And Celine Dion warming up offstage.
As I gaze into the eyes of my love
Whom I met a few hours ago
My suffering diminishes
For I do not suffer alone.
A thousand boyfriends will share
This 214-minute suffering
For so long as home videos exist.
I was her shoulder to cry on,
Something the shoulderless shore
Will never be.
Okay, I’m cold now.
Filed under Poems
Life is like…
Life is like a game
Of charades
In which people can talk
And watch parades
And have to make money
Or they’ll starve to death
And nobody actually cares
What people are trying to communicate,
Kind of like life.
What I Worry About
Furtive glances;
Still no wi-fi.
Previous posts say
“1d, 2d, 3d, 3d, 5d…”
I hope four days ago
My scheduled poem posted.
Then I wonder:
Am I the only one who cares?
Then my little voice answers:
“Yes.”
Thanks little voice.
Filed under Poems
Strategy Meeting
I watch my life go by
In factors of sixty.
That little rotating stick,
The flashing colon,
The unending count
Of passing seconds.
No matter how angry the birds,
How many temples I fail to escape,
Or how many aces lay buried
Beneath twos of their own suit,
The hand will not speed up.
My hopes, and my battery, are dead.
When will this meeting end?
Filed under Poems
Annie
Let me tell you about Annie.
You may have seen her
Trampling the sidewalk
With her scuffed desert boots
And leathery, oil-stained blue jeans.
She has flour in her short blue hair
And a raisin in her blazer pocket,
Unnoticed mementos
Of her time in the kitchen
Trying to act like a woman.
She doesn’t walk, but charges lithely.
Her whispers are orations
To those near enough to hear,
Close enough to understand,
And willing enough to listen.
Annie heeds the winds of change
By standing still, her face pummeled,
Unable to breathe
Until the winds die down
And she smiles too broadly in victory.
Annie is beauty. Annie is strength.
Annie is a poet.
She is standing behind me
Making me publish this
Or else suffer to eat her baking.
Please be Annie’s friend.
Please.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Daily Travesty 