The itsy-bitsy spider
Was sitting on the floor,
Having a rest
Beneath the cabinet door.
I came to smash him
And end his worthless life
But he crawled away to safety…
Now I have to face the wife.
Tag Archives: Life
And You Thought They Just Slept A Lot And Licked Themselves!
Nobody knows the journey of a cat:
Where they go or what they do,
What secret groves within they sat
Or fearsome vermin that they slew.
No one knows the lives they’ve saved
And the worlds they lost in vain.
Such is the mystery of the cat;
Both majesty and pain.
Filed under Poems
Stuff People Like
Cars and sports and guns and sports
And balls and boobs and mustard:
These (plus sports) are what guys like;
Other stuff makes them flustered.
I would write another poem
About what women like too
But they just can’t even anymore
And if you don’t know, they won’t tell you.
Filed under Poems
The Game Changed Me…
I played a game of Monopoly
And the reactions spanned quite a panoply.
I bankrupted my friends
‘Cause means justify ends…
Now I’ve a monocle and I act foppily.
Filed under Poems
Coming Soon To The MCU: Night Owl
I’m tired and I’m sleepy
And I want to rest my mind,
But there is a problem
That I cannot leave behind:
As much as I need slumber
And as much as I need rest
Staying up unreasonably late
Is the one thing I do best.
Filed under Poems
Our Turn
At wee early hour on the hills by my home
I’d knock on your door, heart a burning
To dance there with you
And the golden morning dew,
Giving thanks that the world keeps a turning.
When sun finally breaks, gold and heavy that morn
And we stride proud below sky a burning
I’ll feel like a king
With the first bud of the Spring
And give thanks that the world keeps a turning.
The sun at it’s apex, a blanket beneath,
And two lovers for picnic are yearning.
Her hair smooth as silk
They drink honey and the milk
In the garden of Earth, still a turning.
As years turn to lifetimes and bodies to dust
The couple does not cease their learning.
They lie, cold and still
And the two become the hill,
Still part of the world ever turning.
Remember the sunshine. Remember the lifetime.
Remember the sweet butter churning.
Remember the dawn
For someday the Earth will yawn
And together we’ll rest from the turning.
Different Decade, Same Crap
It’s been exactly ten years today
Since I wrote my first post here:
May 28th, the fateful day,
2012 the fateful year.
Back then people were afraid
The Mayan calendar was done
And the world would finish with it
And nobody had fun.
If they looked ahead ten years
To life in 2022
They’d try to ask the Mayans
Why they didn’t follow through.
Filed under Poems
Piece by Peace
You told me that you’re broken
But I have to disagree.
You’re at the disadvantage
Of not seeing what I see.
You don’t see my future
When mascara washes away;
You don’t see the smile
I ask God for when I pray;
You don’t hear the stars align
Every time you laugh and sing.
Even when you feel broken
You’re my everything.
So when you say you’re broken
Disbelieve a little while
While I become a mirror
To show you how you smile,
How you laugh and how you sing
And cry but keep on living;
I want to reflect to you
The love you’re always giving
Until the sun will rise again
And together we will shine
And find your broken pieces
Fit perfectly with mine.
Filed under Poems
I Did Plans D-ZZ For You… You’re Welcome
Sometimes you make a plan A, B, and C
But the world just is what it chooses to be
And while we can see it as a half-full cup
Sometimes it’s more fun just to mess some stuff up!
On somewhat of a tangent, I’m really keen
On the idea of making a time machine
That does a time loop, Groundhog Day style
And mess some stuff up for an infinite while.
You’re consequence-free for a lifetime or two,
Testing out various versions of you.
Don’t like the result of a particular day?
Just jump off a cliff and try a new way!
And if you are sad knowing this isn’t real,
Believe me, I get it! I know how you feel…
So think of it this way (This gets kinda heady)
You’ve been in and finished a time loop already.
You’ve lived endless lives of the same day again
And you’ve kissed all the ladies and shot all the men
And learned Japanese and solved nuclear fusion
And finally came to a stunning conclusion:
With infinite time, with no way to fail,
With no threat of death, embarrassment, jail
Your life loses meaning if you only win it
So you used your last time loop to think for a minute,
Inventing a button that made time go back
To a day at a time, with a total lack
Of memory concerning your endless days
Of repeating your time in all different ways.
You’ve already learned that making mistakes
Is sometimes exactly what happiness takes,
But if you still need to shoot a TV
To burn some frustration, that’s alright by me!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 