While I was making sweet, sweet love
To my canoe, I thought:
“Just because your love’s forbidden
“Doesn’t mean it’s hot.”
Tag Archives: Love
When People Write In Nothing But Emojis
The longest month of springtime,
A ball that helps you see,
A band with too much makeup,
And a goat we named “Marie.”
I meant to be romantic
But she had no clue
That I was simply asking
“May I kiss you?”
📆👁🐼🎵🐐?
Filed under Poems
Relationship Goals
Two years ago on Sunday
I looked into her eyes
And promised her I love her
And I’m not like other guys.
One year ago on Sunday
I met with her and said
I’d fly us both to Venice
And we’d never leave the bed.
And now this year on Sunday
I’ll ask her to be my bride
And maybe this time she’ll says yes
And I’ll feel good inside!
Filed under Poems
One Night, But There’s No Standing
She stands tall and beautiful,
Symmetrical and brown.
Little did I know my touch
Will bring her crashing down.
Everyone around her stares
In silence, tense and fun
And I know I must reach out
And be her only one.
I know not where to try my luck,
So I start with her feet
Then move attention to her head,
The first trial complete.
Still she stands, but shaken
By the change in her I’ve wrought.
My hands keep going back to her
Despite how hard I fought.
All through the night I push and pull
And hope that I could change her,
But it is I who lost my nerve
Amidst an air of danger.
I thought I’d stand so tall and proud
And thought she’d do the same.
Alas, together we collapse;
Thus ends the Jenga game.
Filed under Poems
Dating In The Country Be Like…
I hear her dad has fewer teeth
Than guns hung on his walls…
I heard her seven brothers
Got among ’em 19 balls…
I’ve heard her mom got famous
As a former L.A. Ram…
But I heard she ain’t got no beard
So I don’t give a damn!
Filed under Poems
The Intimacy Of Distance
Sometimes to be yourself it seems
A friend just will not do,
For one may fear a friend will know
About the real you.
And so when one must tell the truth
With all its hidden dangers
One turns to find one’s solace
In the waiting ears of strangers.
And yet in sharing what you are
With someone you don’t know,
In starting with the basic stuff
And moving far too slow
You find that what you hoped for
Is alive and omnipresent
And that a world that judged you
Now appears… could it be pleasant?
Did you see the sun came out
And know that fruit is sweet
And music’s free for everyone
And smiles fill the street?
Sometimes just to be yourself
Needs strength you do not feel
So thank God for the strangers
And the ways they help us heal.
Filed under Poems
When Her Eyes Met Mine
My eyes are sort of brownish
Like a car that no one bought,
But there’s a girl I see in class
Whose eyes I like a lot;
They’re greener than a vegan’s lawn
And bright as stars above,
And when I look into their depths
I fall deeper in love.
I asked a dear old friend of mine
How I can show I care.
He told me to make eye contact
And all would flow from there,
And so I took my glasses off
And walked up, feeling fine
And took her head into my hands
And pressed her eyes to mine.
Well I can’t say I had success…
Can’t say it helped my vision…
All I can say’s my friend’s advice
Got me locked up in prison.
But on a side almost as bright
As her eyes’ emerald hue
She said a lot of words to me
And that’s a dream come true!
Shut Up, It’s A Valid Question!
Nine out of ten people agree
A zombie apocalypse would be bad,
And yet there are folks you will see
Who think such a plague is rad.
What I really want to know
Is whether those with necrophilia
Would be more or less turned on
By moving corpses that can kill ya…
Filed under Poems
Promises
One hundred years ago today
A boy and girl were scared
Together in the chapel,
Neither one of them prepared
To spend a life exclusively
In one another’s heart,
But shared a kiss and promise there
‘Til death tore them apart.
Five years from that fateful day
A child joined the two
And once again they stood in fear
Without a hope or clue,
Uncertain how to raise a child
And keep him safe from pain,
But wrapped him in a blanket
And they walked him through the rain.
When fifteen years expired
Since the day they said “I do,”
They met a world of poverty
And skies were seldom blue,
And sometimes they’d go weeks on end
And not a dollar see,
But when they ate, they said their prayers
They ate as family.
Twenty years and thirty went
And forty passed away
And what was young was wrinkled up
And what was brown turned gray.
The easy things got harder
And the hard things all stayed tough,
But a couple has each other
And for them that was enough.
A hundred years ago today
Two words were said by two
And love that was uncertain then
We now can see was true.
There’s always rain, there’s always fear,
There’s always poverty,
And there will always be two more
To find serenity.
Filed under Poems
The Edge of Seventeen
There’s a lake just off the freeway
That I went to with a girl
And we sat beside the water,
Feeding nature to a squirrel.
We made noises with our mouths
And made each other laugh,
Then we got someone to feed us
And we only paid for half.
We saw folks in real pain
Pretend to hurt in different ways
While on a screen and in the guise
Of whatever film’s the craze.
Then I drove backwards up a hill
To drop her off at almost nowhere.
I think about her every time
I see that lake, but never go there.
Such is love and such is life
For one who sees the sun at night,
Who, knowing how they hunger so,
Gladly lets the bedbugs bite.
Filed under Poems
