Tag Archives: Love

At Least I Commit To Finishing Acrostics Though

I is for the intimacy we have yet to share

M is for the the many ways I show you I care

N is for how no one can compare

E is for “except that girl who has the pretty hair.”

V is for how very sorry I will claim to be

E is for that exceptional hair I never will unsee…

R is for I’m really sorry this time. Forgive me?

G is for the gift I’ll buy to say that I’m sorry

E is for how every day you give me another chance.

T is for the tightness you inspire in my pants

T is for your temperance, which totally rhymes with “dance”

I is for how I hope to rekindle our romance

N is for how nuts it is I ogle other girls

G is for “good thing I’m not into hair with sexy curls.”

L is for how light catches her hair as it unfurls…

A is for “Alright, alright! I’ll buy you some new pearls.”

I is for I really wish I were a better dude

D is for “Doggone it, if you weren’t such a prude…”

A is for apologizing for how I am lewd

G is for the golden curls falling upon the nude…

A is for “At least I didn’t finish the previous line.”

I is for the infinite ways you, my dear, are fine.

N is the never being bad again if you’ll remain as mine.

! is the punctuation after you vehemently decline.

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How To Make My Crush Fall Madly In Love With You

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Chocolate’s half price now

And I wonder… are you?

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A Romantic Holiday Indeed

Today’s a day we celebrate

The people with whom we mate

Buy buying chocolates that are nice

Because they cost double the price.

Then we go to crowded rooms

Filled with too many perfumes

And tip the waitresses a lot

‘Cause we know they’re single and also hot

And then we go back to our homes

And read our lovely ladies poems,

We do this, or else we fear

That we won’t get laid again this year.

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Three Poems On The Mysteries Of Love

If I had a pickle

For every time you smile

I’d be decorating sandwiches

For a sufficient while.

—————————————————————

As the birds sing in the morning

And the bugs crawl in the night

So too doth my heart yearneth

When you say “Meh, you’re alright…”

—————————————————————

I picked the petals from the flower:

“She loves me, she loves me not…”

But I misread the directions

Turns out it was flour I bought.

As I sift through every grain

I frown and then I smile.

I’m getting a great workout

But the results will take a while.

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Reflection

He looked in the mirror

And instead of his face

He saw someone worthy

Of goodness and grace;

A man who was useful,

Who’d given enough,

With bountiful beauty

Though his edges were rough;

A man that he knew

Deserved the fine feeling

That he could rise higher

Uncrushed by the ceiling;

A man who saw Heaven

In shelves left undusted,

Who hadn’t yet learned

It’s alright to be rusted;

A man who’d been beaten

Yet rose straight and tall

On the day he believed

It was his face after all.

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The Most Romantic Poem Ever That No Woman Will Understand

When my team is 8 and 6

And my fantasy QB gets sick

You’re the RB1 I start

And throw to when the ground is slick.

You’re the treadmill at the gym

In front of the TV

Where I can watch the Yankees lose

With nobody in front of me.

You’re someone I never thought

Was real, but here you are!

Like a white guy who hates frisbee sports

And never tried to learn guitar.

When I hold your hand I feel

Like I am good at math,

And if you asked me nicely

I might even take a bath.

I think you’re pretty naked

Or in a muumuu, though

I doubt there is a clothing item

That could dull your glow.

I would window shop with you

On our anniversary,

And when you sleep, on the toilet’s edge

I aim so you don’t hear me pee.

You smell like guacamole

And when you hold me tight

I forget to pull my belly in

And I know the world’s alright.

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Domesticity 2.0

I built two homes in my mind

On a foundation of good intent.

One was perfect, charming, yellow,

But alas away it went.

The second house is red and black

And full of song and sharing,

And though it also may away

It’s worthy of my daring.

This darker home reminds me

Of the prayers I spoke when young,

Of Autumn wind and springtime rain

And hymns borne from my tongue,

A home of possibilities

Where nothing goes unsaid.

God willing, we’ll build it together;

Until then, it’s in my head.

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The Heart Of Man

Sometimes when you look at me

Wide-eyed, uncertain,

The endless doubt and weariness fade

And I hold your hand softly

And kiss you gently;

My whole ego becomes weightless

And I know that I have you

And I don’t deserve you

And I would die a thousand times

To be with you just an hour more.

Sometimes when you look at me

Silently, deeply,

I know exactly how your heart

Is full of warm Summer breezes

And hibernating mammals

Warm in each others’ embrace

Beneath a cold, uncaring world.

Sometimes when you look at me

Gently, longingly,

I wonder how on earth

A stacked team like Rams

Can lose to the freakin’ 49ers in primetime;

Then I try to look at your tits

Without you noticing.

I can’t.

This is what it means to be a man.

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Gary Gygax Is My Promise Ring

Some people use condoms.

Some folks use the pill.

Some people are celibate.

There are other methods still;

My favorite of the methods

To prevent a pregnancy

Is by telling all my dates

That I play D&D.

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Awaken, My Love, To A Secret Gift

As every day the sun has risen

Since the day all men were born

To signal coming of a new day

By the sunlight through the corn,

By the very first song of the birds

Hidden in a distant tree

So do I hope my eyes will settle

On you lying next to me,

And as the sun casts shadows over

All that lives beneath the light

I hope my mind is full of mem’ries

Of what happened through the night.

As heaven transforms from black to gold

And clouds shift from orange to cream

And your eyes flicker and welcome me

I know I’ve achieved my dream.

As you see my smile widen more

Than it would by normal grace

You see into my mind and demand

“What did you draw on my face?”

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