I think that Jesus didn’t have children
Because if he had children then
He’d make them sandwiches, but they’d complain
“Daaad… pastrami and rise again?”
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On the other hand, Moses was famous
For his sandwiches. That’s what I hear.
In fact, back in Egypt I heard he was voted
The Nigev desert’s manna the year.
Filed under Poems
Steve the alligator
Looked at the lemon rind
That, squeezed out and discarded,
In the swamp he did find.
The lemon said “Life gave me
“And thus did I die,
“So I warn you dear gator
“That your time is nigh.”
Filed under Poems
Today we gather to commemorate
A platform that we grew to hate,
Whose motto is “Give us a buck
“And we’ll distribute it to whoever the”
Filed under Poems
I don’t go to parties
Because I am a geek.
I have never cut my hair
Because I am a freak.
I play old school RPGs
Because I am a dork,.
I’m still proud because I don’t
Eat pizza with a fork.
Filed under Poems
I want to be the director
At a news station some day
So when a line of gnus appears
I am the one to say:
“Lights… Camera… Action”
But moreso than the views
I want to say I was the one
Who cued queued gnus news.
Filed under Poems
She was a 10.
I was a male.
I thought it was love,
Then she said “I like kale.”
Filed under Poems
In the bible it’s very clear
That having sex with one who’s near
To you in blood is something that one doesn’t.
If you’re another brother’s mother
Be wary choosing a significant other
Because sin be cousins causin’ cousins.
Filed under Poems
When my friends ask me
“Why are you still single?”
I tell them my hobby
Is sitting, staring at my phone, trying to think of a satisfying rhyme for single
So I can finish my poem
That I write on my blog-ingle.
Filed under Poems
Just once I want to see a film
Where a short male action star
Beats up a bunch of amazons
And never gets a scar,
Pummeling the female goons
With his 5th percentile fists
But we’ll never see that movie
‘Cause sexism exists.
Filed under Poems
All these folks are making jokes
Like why was six afraid of seven?
So seven ate nine, that’s well and fine
But I’ve got a joke sent from heaven:
Why were e people
Afraid of the letter W?
Cause White people.
Haha, hehe, whoo!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 