Legend says upon the sea
Beneath the skull and bones
A tiny man with whose skin is tan
With a beard of violet tones
Command a stalwart legion
Or pirates, hard as granite
Who seek to steal from those in teal,
Themselves in pomegranate.
There’s never been a pirate captain
So dreaded to be seen
As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man
Called Captain Aubergine…
Some once called him a dandy man
And some called him a fop,
And that soon lead to many a head
Who’s rollings’ are yet to stop.
And there he’ll stand with sword in hand
And beard the brightest plum
And calls the rat to ladies that
For booty he had come!
There’s never been a pirate captain
So dreaded to be seen
As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man
Called Captain Aubergine…
When on the seas, the frigates fled
When purple sails were seen
For not a sailor, cook, or whaler
Fights with Aubergine.
They knew beneath that gold fedora
A brutal brain belongs,
But none escape pillage and rape
Nor his K-Pop pirate songs!
There’s never been a pirate captain
So dreaded to be seen
As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man
Called Captain Aubergine…
And when the Violet Virgin docked
(As the captain’s ship was called)
The folks in port were naught but sport
For the pirates so ribald.
They stole the bread and beans and rice
And even the polenta,
For nothing stops the pirate fops
Bedecked in their magenta!
There’s never been a pirate captain
So dreaded to be seen
As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man
Called Captain Aubergine…
‘Til finally one fateful night
‘Neath a sunset, heliotrope
A treasure trove in vibrant mauve
With scalawags did elope
And Aubergine was satisfied
And sailed off, drinking wine
To somewhere worse, where grass is perse
And the sky’s amaranthine!
There’s never been a pirate captain
So dreaded to be seen
As the hook’ed hand of the crooked man
Called Captain Aubergine…
At least that’s how the tale’s told now
Of Captain Aubergine…
The Daily Travesty 