I thought about it.
Then I thought and thought some more,
Yet I still wrote this.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Special Delivery
I’ve watched a lot of “movies”
That aren’t on IMDB.
They made delivering pizzas
Look like a pretty good job to me.
And indeed, I did get special requests
From my female clientele,
But mostly they’re “draw a pic on the box.”
That or “go to Hell.”
I tried to target neighborhoods
Where people cannot pay,
But mostly they’d just write a check
And send me on my way.
So I quit my job as a pizza guy
For I had been mislead.
Now I spend my afternoons
Cleaning swimming pools instead.
Filed under Poems
One Big Misunderstanding
The big red button
Says “do not press,”
Which is why it’s wrinkly.
Filed under Poems
Nine Million Americans
I won’t lie…
I’m famous
For something really neat.
I posted “first”
On a youtube vid
And now my life’s complete.
Filed under Poems
…or something
This poem: you might find
Reading it is kinda tough
Because it touches on
Things like vaguery and stuff.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Pragmatism
Optimists say the glass is half full;
Pessimists say it’s half empty.
As I poet, I must be an optimist
Because nothing rhymes with “empty.”
Bee Minus
Living as a bumblebee
Is really very lame.
Your life is run by mind control
And every day’s the same.
Our homes are much too sticky
And attract too many bears.
Yellow and black are so last Spring
But no one ever cares.
It’s hard to have an argument
When your sole source of defense
Creates discomfort in your enemy
And kills you in recompense.
And so we drone and buzz and fly
And polenate a bagonia,
Humming “Fields of Gold” by Sting,
Hoping the queen does not disown ya.
Filed under Poems
He Looks Just Like You
I’ve got a crippling fear of insects,
But that’s not much of an issue
Since I work inside a hospital
In the birthing ward.
From time to time, an ugly baby
Will burst forth into my view.
I’ll say “oh look, he’s cute as a bug,”
‘Cause it’s honest and I’m bored.
Filed under Poems
Old Dreams
If I were a dinosaur
I’d be a stegosaurus.
I’d spend my time stargazing
And singing in a chorus.
And if predators mess with me,
With my tail, I’d resist,
‘Cause no one beats a stegosaurus
When steggy’s feeling pissed.
I’d eat some grass, then some more;
The destiny of an herbivore.
Then I’d be eaten when I’m old.
A fitting fate, so I was told.
And when I got lonely,
I’d go searching on Steg’s List
And remember my old Triceratops
And how it hurt when we kissed.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 