If yous adde a bunche if extras lietters
Tou wordse, butx theiy’re alle silente
Yous maiye beye a french personne.
Meanwhileingermanyaddingspacesisviolent
Tag Archives: Silly
The Season of Sugar Pills
I don’t like Halloween
But I like clinical trials.
Debating whether I got a placebo
Fills my life with smiles.
So in a manner of speaking
Spooky season is still real neat
Because thanks to modern medicine
You still ask “trick or treat?”
Filed under Poems
It’s A Pun… And A Haiku… And A Geography Joke… What Have I Become?
Whenever I meet
Patriotic Libyans
It’s a big green flag.
Filed under Poems
Great Ideas Are Never Appreciated In Their Time
If you’re on the corporate ladder
And you want to climb a rung
I suggest not being the guy
Who suggested the spelling of “Tongue”
Filed under Poems
Who Need Theology When You Have Temporal Paradoxes?
Nobody with a time machine killed Hitler
And nobody stopped the Spanish Inquisition
And single-player games require the internet
Which puts us in an interesting position:
Do we accept that no one will ever make
A machine that can travel back in time
Or do we think time travelers are stopping even worse stuff
And accept that maybe everything’s fine?
Filed under Poems
My Daily Contribution To Nonviolent Language
I think rehabilitated homeless people
Should be called “Ikean Americans”
Because they used to live in boxes
But now they’re all put together
Just sayin’
Filed under Poems
Games, Then And Now
Games Now
So each of you has a unique lord
That determines if you place your board
At the forest’s edge or river’s ford
Before you fight the endless hoard.
On your turn, you have three actions
To influence the seven factions
Through use of normal or dire impactions…
Oops! Here’s the glossary of contractions.
So, then, after the action phase
You choose which players fold or raise
And the loser of the wager pays
To choose which opponent the goblin slays.
Repeat like this for three more rounds
Until the hoard no longer abounds
At which point we imitate the sounds
Of the wyverns fleeing from the grounds.
The winner is the player who’s
Captured the most opponent’s clues
Without revealing their unique ruse
And after paying union dues.
Games Then
So you roll a pair of dice
And you move that many squares
And you pay each other money
Until no one really cares.
Filed under Poems
2054: After Gen Alpha Parents Decided That Names With Letters Are Racist…
A # walked into a bar
Where an ! and a & are.
They met up with $
And the bartender hollered
“We don’t tolerate that $&#! here.”
Filed under Poems
Somewhere, A Lawyer Is Crying
If you never wear black clothes
And walk through parking lots at night
While making deep eye contact
With your cell phone, you just might
Never get to call your lawyer
And get ten-mil in compensation
For no reason other than
Having your legs lose all sensation.
Filed under Poems
What Turning 30 Feels Like
I awoke with crack and a groan
In a house where I live on my own.
I ate soup from a can
‘Cause I’m an old man
And I still use a rotary phone.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 