There once was a plant from Japan
That had varicose veins and went snap. An
Evening I glanced it
And it unzipped my pants. It
Turns out it was a veinous fly trap.
Tag Archives: Silly
Leading Tomorrow’s Youth
Instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen”
I said “Hello Heathens Galore”.
Now everybody knows my name
And I don’t get to teach preschool no more.
Filed under Poems
No Butts About It
Imagine a world where nobody
Has a butt of any kind:
Nobody would ever poop again
And nobody’d ask “But why?”
Pants wouldn’t be near as popular
And gym girls would work on their pecs
And some guys would probably fantasize
About lasses with the jiggliest necks.
No one would horde toilet paper
And fart jokes just wouldn’t exist
And I could go on, but I think my point
Has been made just with this little list.
Filed under Poems
Did OSHA Overlook This?
I always wonder how it feels
To work in an apple orchard.
Is picking fruit for people’s meals
Akin to being tortured?
It can’t be that bad, you say
But what happens if you break a leg?
Those apples all day keep the doctors away
No matter how much you beg!
Filed under Poems
Hue’d Never Guess…
Apparently, the color “peacoat”
Is sort of grayish-blackular
I would have thought it greenish
Given “pea” is in its vernacular,
Or perhaps a pale yellow
Would fit Peacoat’s pigmentation?
Alas, the color picker people
Lack an eight-year-old’s imagination!
Filed under Poems
Finally Some Recognition!
‘Twas the day after Easter
And the kids were off school
Eating copious sugar
And emitting much drool
When a rabbit emerged
And said “Sorry I’m late!”
Then he hid eggs all over
And hopped over the gate.
The children tried chasing,
But bunnies are fast…
Then it dawned on a child
Who whispered at last
“If the bunny came here
“Today, who was that
“Who brought candy yesterday?”
Thus smiled the Easter Rat.
Filed under Poems
Lessons in Fine Dining
Life’s like an Oreo cookie:
The start and the end are both crappy
But the more stuff you put in the middle
The more likely you are to be happy!
Filed under Poems
Woke NASA
“Short people might not play basketball
But that doesn’t mean that they cannot.“
That was the reasoning cited
For making the Kool-Aid man an astronaut.
Filed under Poems
Not An AI Poem, But An Aiai Poem
I eye an eye of the aiai,
Upon the visage of the ape
And as I eye the aiai, I sigh
For I’m shocked, yet it’s not yet agape.
Filed under Poems
And The Rest Is History
There once were two boys from Descartes
Who possessed pure and beautiful hearts
Until one rainy day
In a childish way
They learned how to bottle their farts…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 