One day at breakfast I asked my niece
“What if a bowl of cereal were all just one piece?”
My niece said, “I don’t mean to boast
“But I invented that cereal. I call it ‘Toast.’”
Tag Archives: Silly
Koala Bear Care, But Human Clean Poo Man?
Somewhere in Australia
A koala has a baby,
And when that baby takes a poo
In public, then just maybe
Koala mommy and her cub
In a public restroom hide
And clean up on a table
With a human on the side…
Filed under Poems
Breaking: Illuminati Leader Identified At Last!
One day, a cat suggested
“Wouldn’t it be great
“If we walked up to humans,
“Who we obviously hate,
“And acted cute and fluffy
“‘While we multiply their struggles?”
That cat is world famous now;
His name is Mr. Snuggles.
Filed under Poems
So Ended The Artistic Career Of Coal-Eyed Jack
Once a man who had no legs
And really skinny arms
Made a statue of himself.
He didn’t see the harm,
And so he rolled three balls of snow
And stacked them one by one
Until a rabbit ate his nose
And spoiled all the fun.
Filed under Poems
One Animal That Won’t Let You Down
See you later alligator.
In a while crocodile.
Time to vamoose you silly goose.
Sayonara capybara.
All these partings for a beast
Didn’t matter in the least
To the all-knowing, ever-present
“Never gonna give you up” pheasant.
Filed under Poems
The REAL Home Office
If, instead of cubicles,
We gave all employees
Their own private bathroom
And a set of private keys
So they could sit on porc’lain throne
And work at the same time
Productivity would go up
By a factor of eight or nine.
Filed under Poems
Not To Mention It Bends And Temporarily Stays But Never Creases…
The world today is quite a mess,
Rife with fear and doubt and stress,
But what if free on every street
You could grab a fancy sheet
Of laminated paper to
Shake up and down a time or two
And hear that “thubbackthwubback” noise
‘Til smiles return to the girls and boys?
Filed under Poems
Sparks Will Fly!
I don’t know that it’s a good idea
To have an online dating site
For wrestlers and martial artists
Who like to both travel and fight.
The clientele might be a limited bunch
But the site’s name would have such aplomb:
I for one would sign up at once
For StrikeAnywhereMatch.com
Filed under Poems
Works On 5-Year-Olds, So…
Instead of sending crooks to jail
What if we made them eat kale?
I think they’d say that I’m a hero
For the idea that reduced all crime to zero.
Filed under Poems
Hogwarts, 2021
If you think a Banshee’s scream is bad
You have never heard
The scream of the mythical Banthey
When one’s been misgendered.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 