See you later alligator.
In a while crocodile.
Time to vamoose you silly goose.
Sayonara capybara.
All these partings for a beast
Didn’t matter in the least
To the all-knowing, ever-present
“Never gonna give you up” pheasant.
Tag Archives: Silly
The REAL Home Office
If, instead of cubicles,
We gave all employees
Their own private bathroom
And a set of private keys
So they could sit on porc’lain throne
And work at the same time
Productivity would go up
By a factor of eight or nine.
Filed under Poems
Not To Mention It Bends And Temporarily Stays But Never Creases…
The world today is quite a mess,
Rife with fear and doubt and stress,
But what if free on every street
You could grab a fancy sheet
Of laminated paper to
Shake up and down a time or two
And hear that “thubbackthwubback” noise
‘Til smiles return to the girls and boys?
Filed under Poems
Sparks Will Fly!
I don’t know that it’s a good idea
To have an online dating site
For wrestlers and martial artists
Who like to both travel and fight.
The clientele might be a limited bunch
But the site’s name would have such aplomb:
I for one would sign up at once
For StrikeAnywhereMatch.com
Filed under Poems
Works On 5-Year-Olds, So…
Instead of sending crooks to jail
What if we made them eat kale?
I think they’d say that I’m a hero
For the idea that reduced all crime to zero.
Filed under Poems
Hogwarts, 2021
If you think a Banshee’s scream is bad
You have never heard
The scream of the mythical Banthey
When one’s been misgendered.
Filed under Poems
Taaaake… Me To The Ri. Vuh… (Drop me in the wa. Tuh…) But An Octave Lower
The guys who, in the ‘90s,
Made the singing Big Mouth Bass
Will be long renowned by history
For redefining “urban class.”
Alas, they could have changed music
Had they thought ahead so far
As to make an instrument
They called the “bass guitar.”
Filed under Poems
By Reading This Limerick You May Or May Not Open A Parallel Universe
There once was a cat of Schrodinger
Who wanted to give science the finger.
He said “I will stay
“And also walk away.”
Thus he simultaneously did and did not linger.
Filed under Poems
“Andrew’s Shirtless Chest Glistened Under The Golden Sun. He Placed His Hands On My…” Crap… That’s The Summit
I kept climbing mountains
Even after I went blind.
Sure, the view was nothing much
But now instead I find
The mountain tells me stories
That I can read in braille.
Sure, they can be predictable
But they have such great detail!
Filed under Poems
By The Way, Why Did Didn’t
Today I wrote
“Why did the chicken cross the road”
And someone petty replied
“You forgot the question mark…
“You meant ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’”
So I went out and bought a chicken
And named it Why Did
And I commanded it:
“Why Did the chicken, cross the road!”
That’s what random internet people get
For being grammar nazis.
The Daily Travesty 