There once was a form called the FAFSA
Which asked for my tax info. Laughs, ya?
Then my wife had to say
That yes, I did pay,
All to get zero money. That’s a gaffe-sa!
Tag Archives: Stupid
Technology? Up! Art? Ummmm… I’m Probably Not Qualified To Judge, But…
A lot of people are amazed
How in one hundred years
We went from riding horses
To the moon and diet beers.
What I find less impressive
Is that in that same epoch
We went from the Statue of David
To “Is this bedazzled pineapple a joke?”
Filed under Poems
That Guy In Front Of You’s Philosophy
Red light? Stop!
Green light? Go!
Yellow light? Apparently
That one means “drive real slow”.
Filed under Poems
Shoulda Sat?
Lonely toilet, late at night.
I don’t need no stinkin’ light.
Wait? Why don’t I hear a splash?
Oops! Guess that bowl was the trash.
Filed under Poems
Crossfit
There once was a marketing guy
Who was looking for what you should buy.
There was a gym with some rope
And he said “It’d be dope
“If we whip those around. Don’t ask why.”
Filed under Poems
Help Wanted: Male Model – Experience Required: 5+ Years Of Being Female
In the near future, diversity quotas
Will become even harder to fill
So job interviewers will have to start meetings
With, “Hey, so I see you are Bill
“But if you’ll let us call you Simone during work
“And you’ll say that your pronouns are ‘they’
“Then we’re happy to call you our newest employee.
“Otherwise, have a very nice day.”
Filed under Poems
Fun Ideas For Improving The World #682
I think we need a theme park
Called IQ Test Land
Where every ride is deadly
(Intentionally planned)
And a prize will be given
To the one lucky guest
Who survives on the rides
Longer than all the rest.
It’s not a solution
Without any flaws
And may be against
International laws
But in the week that its open
The world will be cleared
Of many a person
Who think seat belts are weird.
Filed under Poems
*#%^ing Algorithms…
A long time ago
When iPods were new
There was a cool button
And what it would do
Is shuffle your music
So your tunes would play
In a randomized order
And people said “Hey
“This feature is awesome
“But it doesn’t quite do
“What the ‘shuffle’ descriptor
“Implies you want to.”
Now twenty years later
A CEO said
“Nah, it’s still good enough”
And then went off to bed.
Filed under Poems
Guess What Part Of The Movie I Wrote This During?
What if we had a recognizable person
Talk over some muzak
About a mega corporation
About which they’re unenthusiastic
And we’ll have an inoffensive joke
Where a dad does something silly?
That’ll make people desire
To pay us willy-nilly!
Filed under Poems
And Yet Businesses Still Do This… (Not The Kidnapping Part Though… Yet)
So a friend of mine got kidnapped
And they sent a ransom link.
It said “click here to see the ransom price”.
I’ll never see him again, I think.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 