Of terrible jokes
This is but one of a myriad:
Both Picasso and the Princess
Have had a blue period.
Tag Archives: Travesty
Canadian Rap
What’s up dawg?
We about to get real!
In my crib we consider
How other folks feel,
Like when a brother asks
“Yo, where da bathroom be?”
You say “The end of the hall,”
And hope they have a good pee.
If your mixtape is flames
But it’s disturbin’ the neighbors
You realize that lack of sleep
Impacts professional labors,
So you crank it from eleven
Back to a suitable volum’
So when yo neighbors see the cops
They ain’t intendin’ to call ’em.
We don’t judge a playa’s major,
Whether fine arts or stem.
We be diggin’ respect
For he/him/she/her/they/them.
We know if a brotha’s vegan
Or wants his food gluten free,
And if you bringin’ people drinks
Why not some decaf tea?
If you come an’ have a holla
In the ‘burbs with me,
I be more apt to thank you kindly
If you RSVP.
You may think we freakin’ tame
Because our hide’s pretty white,
But a party ain’t be rockin’
If da guests ain’t polite!
Filed under Poems
Origin Story
Once upon a space and time
A man who was not paid to rhyme
Devoted much attention to
Forcing his “humor” on you.
He spent a day amidst his folks
Without thinking of rhyming jokes.
The last two days he’d been lazy
So to slack off now would make him crazy.
Thus he started writing, it’s said
When a title popped into his head.
What he’d written did not fit
But he did not not give a… spit.
Anyway, I’m writing still
Although perhaps I battle uphill.
Yes, the tense is present now
And I wipe sweat from my brow.
(Even though my brow is sweatless
I actually wiped it. That’s how much I get this).
If you’ve seen this, you have read it.
This is why most poets edit.
Filed under Poems
Millennial Parenting Takes Another Small Step
If your name were Bedtime
And asked for a bedtime story
People might share anecdotes
Of you in all your glory.
Your children might get all confused
When it’s their rest-your-head time
And you ask them to ask you
“Tell me a story, Bedtime?”
Or say you want a lesson
In a subject like history
And you have to tell somebody
“Tell me, Bedtime, a story.”
One thing no one asks though
Is why Bedtime isn’t sad
When he tells the story of the time
He killed his mom and dad…
Filed under Poems
Two American Legends
Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a pony.
He stuck a feather in his cap
And called it macaroni.
Yankee Doodle was confused,
Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,
And his random speech habit
Got picked up by Joe Biden.
Filed under Poems
We Are Never Ever Ever… Sending You Another Letter!
I got a letter in the mail
From a Jehovah’s Witness
Which explained God’s will to me
And wished me mental fitness.
It told me, “God is watching
“And he’s offering you a lift,”
And yet I’ve seen no news
About the death of Taylor Swift…
Filed under Poems
Of Birds and… Other Stuff
The sun was a brilliant scarlet
Upon the rustling brush,
Redder than a hemorrhoid
Who’s asking out its crush.
Within the brush are little jays,
Their feathers dark and blue
Much like the mood experienced
When one eats eyeball stew.
The birds were eating insects
So tiny and so green
Like little child soldiers
Or polytetrafluoroethylene.
The birds, thus having eaten
Flew off to sunset orange.
Alas, this leaves no conclusive rhyme
But judging by the imagery of previous examples, I doubt you’re disappointed.
Filed under Poems
History Is Written By The Famous
Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy
Bashful, Grumpy, and Dock
Mined all day to earn their pay
From 8:00 to 5:00 o’clock.
With seven salaries they paid
The rent for one small shack
And thought this was the status quo
Because the dwarves were black.
Then this white chick comes along
And they’re all like “Hi ho!”
Then she’s like, “OMG you guys,
“My name’s like totally Snow.”
And so she took their home away
And even ate their fruit
Before she slept for free a while
‘Cause hey, the chick was cute!
She slept upon the eighth dwarf’s bed
Who never was alerted.
So says the spurned, forgotten dwarf
Whose name is Introverted.
Filed under Poems
A 2020 Haiku
This year’s a blizzard:
Too many snowflakes appeared
And we all miss work.
Filed under Poems
Before 🙂 Was A Thing
This means you’re happy 🙂
This means you’re sad 😦
This means you’re an anarchist (:
This means you’re the dad :$
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 