Tag Archives: Travesty

A Poem for Folks Who Specify Their Pronouns

Roses are violet

And violets are rose.

That’s what they said,

So I guess that’s what goes?

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What’s In A Nest?

Let me show you my nest,

The place I rest my head,

Full of feathers and down,

The protection we shed.

We’ll regrow them in time.

They adorn my haven,

Nothing but sticks and mud

And a home for a raven.

My nest’s in a tree.

The tree’s made by rain.

Rain makes my wings heavy

And makes flying pain.

If the sun comes around

And then refuses to set

I’ll have no tree or nest,

So I pray to be wet.

Bugs and worms fill me up

So I may keep eggs warm

So my nest will be full

With a small raven swarm

Who complain of the rain

And fear losing a feather

And I don’t mind their kind

And I treasure “together.”

Soon they’ll be showing

A tree with their nest

And “together” is gone

And it’s all for the best.

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To Infinity… And Beyond

Here’s the latest quandary

That kept me up all night:

I thought I was bad at self-evaluation

And it turns out I was right…

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American Political Redux

Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,

But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses

Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”

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When Movies Aren’t In Chronological Order

Dab and Deb were walking

To meet up with Dib and Dob.

(Dub was nowhere to be seen).

Then Dab began to sob.

The first sentence is the beginning

And the third one is the ending.

Someone said “Smack Dab in the middle of it.”

Now wasn’t that mind-bending?

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This Poem Rhymes If Your Accent Is Creative Enough

There once was an American skier

Who fell off a Canadian pier.

He yelled, “I broke my foot!”

Some bystanders asked, “What?”

Then one said, “Oh! His one-third of a meter!”

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‘90s Kids Won’t Get This Joke

Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron

He recently confessed.

When asked how he was feeling

He said “I’m soda pressed.”

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Another Perspective…

The top one-percent of earners

Make $585 K.

The minimum NFL salary

Is $615,000 today.

These 0.95-percenters

Complain about being oppressed

And wonder why their unemployed fans

Are anything less than impressed.

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…Ya Know?

Chevy is the At&T of cars.

Polos are the Taylor Swift of shirts.

Venus is the Uranus of Mars.

Shorts are the frozen waffles of skirts.

Mondays are the Youtube ads of time.

The Bachelor is the store-brand Cheerios of salt.

Chihuahuas are the poet’s salary of crime.

If you don’t get these metaphors that’s not my fault.

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