One world leader said
“Grab ’em by the pussy,”
But got elected anyway.
One would-be leader
Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”
Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?
One world leader said
“Grab ’em by the pussy,”
But got elected anyway.
One would-be leader
Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”
Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?
Filed under Poems
There’s a meme you may have seen
That posits the following claim:
If you spell your name backwards
It is your “Demon Name.”
Now Bob and Racecar doubt themselves
(Though Racecar already did)
And you won’t see Regina anywhere
‘Cause she already hid.
Meanwhile, poor Natasha
Has mysteriously been ignored…
Thanks for reading this poem
And I hope you’re no longer bored!
Filed under Poems
Hello to you, dear reader
(Or listener, if you will).
Might I suggest a simple game
Of chance instead of skill?
It’s the tossing of a silver coin
To results in heads or tails.
Your side of choice is a liquid voice
But the other side is wails.
With a heads, you’re six feet taller
Dancing circles in the sky
With a castle full of diamonds
And a friend who’ll never die,
Your wishes but a whim away
In a life devoid of loss.
I’ll even throw a dragon in
If you’ll give my coin a toss!
With a tails, six-feet under
Is a wish that won’t come true
As sky and earth and ocean
Are a nemesis to you.
You look around at all you hate
But only mirrors see,
And the dragon’s on the table still
If you’ll toss a coin with me.
Should you face a face post-flipping
You’ll have all that you can eat,
Removed from all discomforts
And immune to all deceit.
Your words will carry weight again
And the sun will always shine.
The face you face just might be yours
If you’ll flip this coin of mine!
But if that face is hidden
Hidden will your face be too
Behind your ever-aching hands
And whatever that guy threw…
There’ll be excellence around you
But the best you’ll get is fair;
It’s the risk you take for sending
My coin spinning through the air.
Should you be a coward
To avoid the loss of tails
There’ll be lemon in your water
And wind within your sails.
Should you be a hero
And pursue the wealth of heads
You’ll have no fear of failure
And a lack of empty beds.
Euphoria awaits you
In the paradise you made
With an open grave beside it
Dug by hand and fortune’s spades.
A two-faced ally in the air
Does Heaven and Hell divide
Will you be fine with good enough
Or care to pick a side?
Filed under Poems
I’ve noticed as of late
Fortune seems to elude me,
Like the time I struck a match
And the match just up and sued me!
——————————————————–
I said “Dad, go long!”
He was twenty yards away
When I lit the fuse…
——————————————————–
God made wood flammable
Some time after day seven.
He made it burn with chemicals;
‘Twas a match made in Heaven.
Filed under Poems
Body and bread,
Sword and sheaf;
Stalk of muscle,
Blade of leaf;
Sweet or sour,
Baked or no;
It rises within us:
Tae Kwon Dough!
Filed under Poems
When I feel invisible
And that feeling makes me sad
I think of 5’11” African-American dads who play the viola, vote libertarian, and write poetry blogs
And I don’t feel so bad.
Filed under Poems
I tuned my guitar
Then unplugged the beepy things.
What a quiet crowd…
Filed under Poems
I was running with my dog
One Wednesday afternoon
When my puppy’s nose did spy
Malodorous raccoon.
Not the type to laugh at fate
My dog took up the chase.
Going zero to sixty in 3.2,
He should’ve won the race.
Alas, he turned a corner
Onto Lincoln Parkway South…
A german shepherd police dog
With radar gun in mouth!
I figured it was funny
Knowing the dog had snatched the gun
But funnier was how my pup
Went sixty to zero in 2.1
We got off with a growl,
The raccoon nowhere in sight.
I guess I should be grateful
That my puppy’s fur is white!
Filed under Poems
Somewhere, there’s a Mexican wizard
Who can’t hear what people say.
I’ve heard he’s a deaf supremacist
And a member of the “Que? Que? Que?”
Filed under Poems
One wonders whether weather
Wonders whether weather was
A wandering weather whither
else wandering thither just because.
But whether weather wanders
Hither, thither, or wherever
One’s wandering wonder weathers
Weather’s wonders well forever.
Filed under Poems