Tag Archives: Travesty

…Or Something

I’ve read too much to enjoy reading,

Seen to many masterpieces to appreciate beauty.

I am inspired by only passions fleeting,

Never by oughts, my skill, my duty.

To know and love and worship and create

Guides the eye to their lover’s flawed face,

Opening pinholes to unfamiliar hate

That will never be known to those casually committed to their passions.

I will not chase or slay dragons.

I will not rescue or respect damsels.

I will enjoy every moment once

And never seek out or create its sequel.

I want to know love,

And I learn through unfamiliarity.

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Kindness

I offered a homeless guy a place

To sleep under my roof.

He said to me, “I’m not a ceiling fan.”

Then to himself: “Lol, what a goof!”

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LGBTQ, Not 10JQKA

I like to play poker with drag queens

‘Cause whenever they draw an ace

You know right away

‘Cause you know what they say:

They struggle to keep a straight face.

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Sacrifice

She had wavy golden hair

That fell below her knees

The color of the summer sun

And lighter than a breeze.

She cut it when we married,

Though it was at my behest:

The hair would have been lovely

If it weren’t on her chest.

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Do It Already!

Close my eyes and listen

To the gently falling rain,

Wishing all the while

That you, dear reader, will refrain

From noticing the fact

That I made a mistake,

For this poem is a command.

What a difference “I” can make…

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Yes, My Carpet Is Beige. How Are You?

I took some tests last weekend

And got results today.

The good news: I’m not pregnant

And my blood pressure’s okay,

My cholesterol is healthy

And my IQ’s 121.

The bad news: My personality test

Indicates that I have none.

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You Can’t Spell “Guilt” Without U and I

Well, you tried to con a dollar

From my hard day’s work

But I’ve never worked a day in my life.

Then you tried to sell me something

In an unmarked bag.

I said “Maybe, but I gotta ask my wife.”

Then you pulled a Smith and Wesson

From your paint-on jeans

And you told me “Pull your wallet out slow.”

Nine months later you’ve a stroller,

I’m approved for my parole-a.

When it’s love, sometimes you just know.

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An Eggxcellent… Oh, Nevermind…

I meant to write a verse that’s funny

Involving Jesus and a bunny.

Alas, the laughter all was cheap

And so I left without a peep.

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Suffice To Say, He Did Not Have The Last Word

There once was a poet named

Whose brilliance was greater than.

By leaving off the last

He got around the whole

And never again worried about.

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When You Could Be Productive, But…

Sometimes I wonder

What life would be like

If chickens went bowling

And cows went on strike,

If dolphins loved hockey

And dogs weren’t adored

And monkeys were funky

And, yes, I’m that bored.

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