I read an inspiring article
About how blue whales reproduce.
Apparently, they interbreed with fin whales
Who are not as large or recluse.
The fact that these largest of animals
Might bring their endangerment to an end
Gives me hope. It should give you hope too
That a blue whale might be your girlfriend.
Filed under Poems
True story: I was curious about how ChatGPT accesses websites or uploaded information to imitate the style of a particular writer. Thinking myself as an unknown, I did an experiment, asking it to “Write a poem in the style of a post from thedailytravesty.com”.
To my delight and horror, it actually nailed it!
Here’s what it gave me:
In a world of whimsy and satire,
Where absurdity sets hearts on fire.
TheDailyTravesty, a realm so wild,
Where laughter reigns, a mischievous child.
A headline screams in bold font,
“Potato UFOs invade Vermont!”
With spuds in spacesuits, a cosmic twist,
Satirical tales, impossible to resist.
Politicians dance in a jester’s jig
As pundits ponder, their brains do dig.
A carnival of words, a linguistic spree,
TheDailyTravesty, where all is free.
Unicorns debate economic strife,
While Bigfoot hosts a talk show rife.
Conspiracies thrive in comic glee,
A kaleidoscope of absurdity.
Aliens pen op-eds on earthly trends,
Sasquatch critiques the latest fashion blends.
Oh, the whimsical world of satire’s delight,
Where reality takes an ironic flight.
So, visit the site, let laughter soar,
TheDailyTravesty, forevermore.
In a realm of humor, where jesters play,
A post-a-day keeps the gloom away.
Filed under Poems
We played D&D
For nine hours today
So my brain is quite fried
And I hope it’s okay
That this poem is brief,
Just seven lines long.
“Why not eight?” you ask?
I am in a cabin
Eating French fries with my wife.
Poetry is great and all
But then again so is my life.
Filed under Poems
Today it was Christmas
And Christmas was done.
This poem is only smaller
Than my desire to go for a run.
Filed under Poems
My girl is sick. She has the ick.
It makes her feel bad.
But she is lucky, ‘cause even when yucky
She’s married to me, her lad.
I make her soup that makes her poop
So all the germs come out,
And then she goes and blows her nose
And snot comes out her snout!
Now free of dreck, my darling Beck
May lay upon our couch.
I am her boulder, her comforting shoulder
For whenever she feels an ouch.
Soon will be when her and me
Go off to bed to sleep
And since she coughed I talk so soft
And help her count the sheep.
And when she wakes, the sound she makes
Is more thunder than snore
But through the night her gut got right;
She’s better than before.
So we repeat until her feet
Are under her anew.
My medical care is extraordinaire
Or so I think. Do you?
Filed under Poems
There once was a Seattle bird team
Who fought a sports battle upstream.
Alas, the sheep rallied
While the birds dilly-dallied
And now they’re an NFL meme.
Filed under Poems
True story: I work remotely
And at my meeting today
My cat jumped up onto my lap
And looked at me, then lay
Belly-up and legs upwards
To show the world his… that
So anyway, I texted my wife
To tell her about our porno cat.
But after a good laugh
At kitty’s lack of inhibition
I said something I shouldn’t have
While Alexa sat to listen:
I made a joke about “kitty porn”
But pronounced the T’s as “D”.
Please know that’s why I disappeared
If big brother comes for me.
Filed under Poems
This ten minute break
Isn’t long enough to write
More than a Haiku.
But I’m not an ass!
I’ll reward you with not one
Haiku, but with two!
Filed under Poems
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