The fact that we’ve been through how many wars
And nobody’s realized yet
That dropping skunks is way cheaper than dropping bombs
Shows just how dumb humans can get.
Tag Archives: War
Military/Zoological Complex (See Also… Polar Bears, Chihuahuas, Those #%^*ing Moths In The Bathroom At Night… I Can Go On)
Filed under Poems
The Ants Go Marching
Do you recall what made you say
“There has to be another way”?
The moment when you burned yourself
Or windows fell and shattered?
Do you recall when you were scared
And learned that no one near you cared
And poured yourself some bottom-shelf
And figured out what mattered?
Remember when your throat was parched,
Your ankle turned, your body arched,
And when your dirty face cried out
The world put earbuds in?
If you recall, it’s time to be
A solo army, strong and free.
If you don’t, then have no doubt
These things will soon begin.
The world may not recall your name
Even if you win the game,
But when you count the victories
You get to choose your score.
So will you choose to recollect
A world of passive disconnect
Or will you solve the mysteries,
Wake up, and join the war?
Filed under Poems
Just Like Being A Real General, But Without The Pay
All of those violent video games…
The ones with the Nazis and guns…
Are thought by most people as harmless,
Just mindless and gory and fun.
They think they’re just one simulation
Of engaging in conquest and war
Where a kid can sit down for an evening
And proceed to, the whole world, ignore.
But when you grow up you realize
And begin to see children who stare
At a screen sending soldiers to slaughter
With less than a whiff of a care
And you realize with eyes open wider
And a hint of an older man’s sorrow:
They’re not corrupting the youth after all:
They’re training the kings of tomorrow.
Filed under Poems
Ballad Of The First Dude In The Epic War Sequence Who Gets Shot And Falls From A High Place Just Before The Soundtrack Starts
There once was a warrior from Lo
Who’d a habit of stubbing his toe.
He could not help but feel
‘Twas his Achilles heel…
But nope! He died by arrow.
Filed under Poems
Burning Flags
Many a child was inspired by a flag
To leave home on a bus and return in a bag,
To struggle and clash with another boy who
Was raised by a flag without red, white, or blue.
It may be a purpose to live under fire
Until you return or in glory expire,
But I seek a purpose where no flags will fly
And a world where no child is inspired to die.
Filed under Poems
Tyranny Bugs Me
There they were, two armies,
One in black and one in red
Swarming from their anthill
Knowing one must soon be dead.
One was sponsored by Les Schwab Tires,
The other by Steve’s Work Pants.
One army shouted “We will be victorious!”
The other screamed “Death to tire ants!”
Filed under Poems
Things That Lasted Waaay Too Long
First there was Vietnam
Then the second gulf war…
Now I’m curious how many years
The Amber Heard trial goes for.
Filed under Poems
One Upside To WW III
In a positive twist on current events,
It seems the number of incidents
Of accidental gunshots dropped
When everybody suddenly stopped
Tolerating anything Russian,
Which apparently included pushing
A swift end to games of Russian Roulette.
So hey! Take what good news you get!
Filed under Poems
Something Worth Fighting
Captain Daniel Anderson
Stood before the 3rd infantry
And called out, “Men, a moment!
“We’ll soon meet destiny.
“Be brave! Be bold! Remember
“That we served each other well.
“Now on we go to victory
“Or tonight we’ll dine in Hell!”
Well Captain Daniel Anderson
And the 3rd infantry fought
With tooth and nail, but doomed to fail;
Their efforts came to naught.
So once again he called out
“We did all that we could do.”
Then they sat for dinner
At a party thrown by you.
Filed under Poems
Holding On And Letting Go
It’s not because she loved him
That she held the stranger’s hand
As she stepped aboard the Gallant
Which would take her from the land
Where the nightly cold and hunger
And the daily war and tears
Were all she’d ever known about
For all her 16 years.
It’s not because of longing
That she watched the coastline fade
As the sounds of need grew silent
Beneath the ocean’s serenade,
And it wasn’t to remember
That she fumbled through the sack
That contained some dirty souvenirs
The few she’d time to pack.
She held and she remembered
And she watched and she was sad
To lose her lonely, painful home:
All that she ever had.
It wasn’t for nostalgia
That she spent her many nights
Remembering the land of famine
Where she had no rights
Even though she had a new home
In a land of peace and rain.
It was simply that she knew
She’d never see that home again.
She held on and remembered
Before she slept, and she was glad
To now be somewhere better
Than the only home she’d had.
The refugee became a nurse
By the time she was all grown
In the only land of promise
That she had ever known.
She helped the people coming
From the homes they left behind
Who, like her, were forever
With their homelands intertwined.
Still she held on and remembered
To now distant fear and strife
And she turned her eyes to helping
Others make a better life.
She never knew the gentleman
Who held her hand that year
With the eyes that stared uncertainly
At his passing drawing near,
But she whispered to him gently
Through the hours of the night:
When you leave a home of pain behind
You’ll go somewhere alright.
He held on and remembered
And saw and understood
And closed his eyes and sailed off
To somewhere that was good.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 