Once in every generation
There is born a chosen one
Who eats their veggie burger
Wrapped in lettuce in lieu of a bun
Then drinks a pint of water
That they brought from their house
Because unfiltered tap water has chemicals
And plastic bottles they don’t espouse.
If you are of the lucky few
Who meet this special soul
It is your sacred duty
And your most important role
To take this person to your home
And shoot them in the head
So we can stop this “special” nonsense
And just eat our meat instead.
Filed under Poems
There once was a Nord VPN
Who played Raid: Shadow Legen(ds)
They sponsored this video
And now I must know
That Sharespace and GoDaddy come when?
Filed under Poems
If you commit a crime
Don’t record it on your phone
Because Siri’s always watching
Even though you are alone
And in court she’ll testify
And show you she means business
Because if Siri’s anything
She’s a certified iWitness.
Filed under Poems
Haikus are very
Very very very ver
Y easy to write
Filed under Poems
I want to start a charity
Where blind and deaf people come
And I describe to them how food tastes
‘Cause I’m hungry and I’m dumb.
Filed under Poems
I think if we sold ostrich eggs
Instead of chicken eggs, we’d find
That what I think’s a good idea
Is not what anyone else had in mind.
Filed under Poems
If you say “I pike pandas” everyone smiles
If you say “I don’t like koalas” that’s fine
Say what you want about grizzlies and polars
But you mention the blacks and they lose their minds…
Filed under Poems
There once was a city in France
That was known for its light and romance.
Then the mideast said “Holla”
And immigrated with Allah
And we know now who’s wearing the pants.
Filed under Poems
We stayed up late
Playing D&D.
Yay for my players
But woe for readers (aka thee).
Filed under Poems
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 