For those who aren’t aware,
Jail and prison are not the same.
To help remember which is which
You can play this little game:
If you piss off any cop
You’ll go to a jail cell.
If you’re either poor or black
You’ll go to prison as well.
Category Archives: Poems
9/10 University Professors Think This Acronym Is Invalid…
If you’re like me and I’m like you
You hear a lot about LGBTQ,
Perhaps even about BIPOC,
But never about SPWCOV.
Now it’s important to tolerate
Those who are gay, lesbian, trans,
And those who are bisexual
And whatever it is for which “Q” stands,
It’s important to have empathy
And remember the plights
Of those who are indigenous
And all the other non-whites,
And women deserve a mention
So the feminists can’t fine us…
But what about the Straight People
Without Color Or Vaginas?
Filed under Poems
…That Was When Elon Musk Got A New Idea…
Some fear that robots will steal our jobs
But that’s not the future I see…
After all, what robot has the power
To turn any liquid into pee?
Filed under Poems
On Vehicular Abuse
On behalf of all the tires kicked,
The roofs slapped, the bumpers knicked,
The cars entered without consent
And sold by men with ill intent:
We confess that in the past
We used you and we moved too fast,
Judged you by color and age
And failed to pay you any wage.
Forgive we ask, and hear our pleas
To cars and trucks and SUVs,
And with your help we make this vow:
With you, we’ll go the right way now.
Filed under Poems
Exercise in the Park
I asked, “Jerry, how do I
“Improve my upper body strength?”
He said, “A bench press
“Is a good place to start, Mark.”
I thought of his advice
And pondered it at length,
Then I grabbed my iron
And went to the city park.
I told the people and the pigeons
That they must depart,
Then I pressed into that bench
Until the steam had all but ceased.
I still have a weak torso
But Jerry said that it’s a start,
And even so I must admit
The bench looks better creased.
Filed under Poems
Then Read the Tags
If you think that everything
You see on the news is true,
Pick a number from 1-10…
Filed under Poems
If America Were A Game
Hey there Trump
And hey there Biden!
Joe will be seekin’
And Don will be hidin’.
Don tuns away
And Joe starts to count…
“One, two, three-hundred-thousand
“Or something… an amount.
“Ready or not,
“Here I come.”
OMG, Don’s not hidden…
He must be dumb.
Filed under Poems
Religious Freedom
The guy at the church said,
“Convert to Christianity!”
The scientologist said,
“Convert to out insanity!”
The LDS guy said, “Convert
“Also, I’m Elder Jeff.”
Microsoft word told me,
“Just convert to .PDF”
Filed under Poems
See, I Can Still Write Sonnets!
If I had good fortune to get bit by
A radioactive beast of some kind
And gained a superpower related
Here’s what superpower comes to my mind:
I would be bitten by a human dad
Of a small child, aged between three and five
And gain power to really steal noses
From any human who is now alive.
I would wander town to town in a mask
And say, “Got your nose” to a passer-by
And see the annoyance turn to shock when
They see that what I said is real, not a lie.
Then I’d put their nose back and fly away.
I think that would really make someone’s day…
Filed under Poems
Tears of a Silver Medalist
We who breathe are oft inclined
To be of less than perfect mind
And, in such state, to raise a fuss
About how fortune frowns on us
For we have all our limbs and eyes,
Have yet to meet a grim demise,
Have bellies full and blankets warm
And lives absent from grievous harm,
Have water fresh on every street
And fertile earth beneath our feet.
We fear no predatory foe,
And yet our hearts are filled with woe;
We see our neighbor’s joy and sigh,
“They have a bit more stuff than I…”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 