Before your TV show resumes
Please watch this little ad
From a global corporation
To remind you that you’re bad.
And if our subtle message
Won’t subliminally take
Don’t worry. There are 14 more
In every single break.
Today’s Episode Of “Incompetent Leading Man Bailed Out By Quirky Minority Sidekick” Is Brought To You By…
Filed under Poems
This Poem Will Be Featured Tonight On CNN
In the future we will have peace
Just so long as we silence everyone
Who says we’re like Nazis
Because Nazis lost
And losing is for people who work
And have independent thought.
Also, Jews hurt the economy.
Filed under Poems
We Should Have Said “Stay…”
In the beginning the wolves roamed the wild
Just eating the grazers and sometimes a child.
Then some stupid human said “Fluffy! Yoohoo!”
And he started to breed them for me and for you.
The first were domestic and strong, fast and loyal,
A dog for the brave, whether peasant or royal.
They had names like “Fido,” “Apache,” and “Spike,”
And they pooped where they wanted and liked what they like.
But soon came some others, and not for the better:
They came with free handbags and even a sweater.
These dogs were called “Floofums,” “McTwinkle,” and “Cheese,”
And maybe they’ll sit if you nicely ask “Please?”
Soon we’ll have puppies the size of our phones
Who only chew vegan, soy, gluten-free bones,
And when we accept such weak canines as pets
We’ll know just how low our society gets.
Filed under Poems
On English Slang and Figures of Speech
If you’re opposed to kinky sex
Then you are very rude
Because you want everybody else
To get regularly screwed.
Filed under Poems
Smart Guys = Not Hot
I said “Hi.”
She said “Hello.”
I said “Don’t use big words like that.”
Now I am her beau.
Filed under Poems
Sometimes You Never Reach The Point
If I were a slug
I would say a lot of stuff
And eventually
The True Cause of Violence
Private Johnson swam onto
The beach at Normandy.
I’ll not describe the horrors
Which that soldier had to see.
He killed opposing soldiers
Because command insisted.
Imagine how it would have been
If video games existed…
Filed under Poems
Social Media Has Violated the United Nations Declaration of Universal Human Rights
This is not my usual content, so feel free to ignore me if you’re so inclined.
Recently, social media companies have made it common practice to suspend the rights of individuals and organizations to speak freely on their platforms. Their reasons are numerous: To prevent offense, to protect democratic integrity, to protest hate and intolerance, and many other reasons.
This suppression of free speech is legal under the laws of the USA and most other countries because users of social media agree to abide by terms and conditions of a platform. That said, the legality of such suppression is in direct violation of the universal human rights of all citizens of the United Nations’ member countries.
In 1948, the United Nations agreed on a standard of human rights accorded to all humans, regardless of race, class, gender, ethnicity, or any other factor. In this article is the following agreement:
Article 19
“Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive, and impart information through any media and regardless of frontiers.”
I believe that the current activity of social media platforms and corporations blocking individual users from sharing opinions, including those which may be intentionally or accidentally incorrect, is in violation of the spirit of human rights and international cooperation.
Furthermore, I believe that any law made by a nation with or without the consent of its people which restricts free expression (including so-called “hate speech” laws) is likewise in violation of universally recognized human rights.
If you agree with this opinion, please share this post or the text within. It is only through the collective international voice of individual humans that the liberty our forefathers intended will endure.
If you disagree, I welcome your corrections. That or just ignore me : )
Sources:
The United Nations Declaration of Universal Human Rights:
https://www.un.org/en/universal-declaration-human-rights/
Business Insider: List of Individuals Banned on Social Media Since Capital Hill Riots
The above link is not all inclusive, and is intended to verify only that social media platforms have taken the actions stated above. Please do your own research if you have doubts or want more information.
Filed under To the Reader
This Poem Relieves Bureaucratic Congestion… Side Effects Include Being On The FBI Watchlist, Bureaucratic Congestion, And “Hanging Yourself” In A Cell Before Testifying Against The Clintons
Our government in America
Is a lot of old people
Roleplaying as a nose with a cold,
Alternating whether the right
Or left nostril can’t breath
While helping no one at all.
Time for Sinuclear TM
Filed under Poems
Crime Pays Everyone But Me
People lose millions of dollars a day
To people with terrible grammar,
So I figured “Hey, I seem stupid sometimes
“So why shouldn’t I be a scammer?”
I sent out an email to millions of people
Saying “I could have stolen a stack
“But instead I abstained from stealing your money
“So to say thanks, could you send some back?”
That was on Monday and now it is Friday
And I’m not sure if scams like this work…
So now you’re aware of why criminals steal:
It’s ’cause you’re a miserly jerk!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 