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……………………Oh, you mean out loud?
Filed under Poems
My girlfriend came home one day,
Just walked in through the kitchen door.
“Do you like my new haircut?”
I asked “What team’s Mynu play for?”
Filed under Poems
If all white people are racists
And support the KKK
It makes me see Hagrid
In an entirely new way.
Filed under Poems
I saw a sign while driving home
That said “Watch for Children At Play.”
Although inconvenient to not know the time
I made the trade anyway.
Filed under Poems
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I put as much effort into this poem
As the Game of Thrones writers would’ve.
Filed under Poems
When a man has nothing to say
He waits in silence for the silence to end.
When a girl I like has nothing to say
She says “That’s so nice, but I have a boyfriend.”
Filed under Poems
She asked me for a diamond necklace.
I gave her a diamond whose shoulders touch its head.
She asked me for a diamond necklace
But I gave her a diamond neckless instead.
Filed under Poems
I was not prepared
For how badly I’d be scared
When mom called “a^2 + 2ab
“+b^2, come here to me.”
FYI, my name’s (a+b)^2
Filed under Poems
Dick and Bruce went on a trip.
Dick asked “want to play Battleship?”
Bruce said “Sure, I want to play,
“But what’s a tleship anyway?”
Filed under Poems
3: The disciples were doubtful
4: And they said “Lord, it cannot be done, for no man hath ever done it
5: But Jesus said “Do not be doubtful or have doubt or other synonyms for uncertainty.”
6: And he scanned the first item and placed it in the bagging area.
7: But there was no alarm or error message, and no staff member had to enter an arbitrary code to validate that the avocados were indeed on sale, and the whole purpose of the self checkout was not rendered moot.
8: The disciples were shocked and declared “Jesus Christ!”
9: And Jesus was all like “yeah bro. Nothing is impossible ’cause God.”
Filed under To the Reader
