To those who value brevity:
Enjoy ironic levity.
Tag Archives: Humor
For the rest of you… this is funny because it divides readers into subgroups, then introduces a joke unlikely to be funny to the majority of readers, thereby enhancing the humorous subtext for the small minority of readers who, as the first line implies, appreciate brevity (You’re welcome)
Filed under Poems
Space Travel and the Perils of Mobile Gaming
In yonder black beyond the sky
Where only stars call home
We set the scene for what’s to come
To those who in it roam:
Ten passengers, a crew do make
Of the mighty spaceship, Skeld.
‘Tis on this craft a tale of woe
For you, tonight, is held.
Each crewmate dons a colored suit,
Of yellow, orange, cyan,
Pink, lime, red, black, blue, or green
Else white, violet, or tan.
‘Tween seven and nine are loyal crew
While one to three impostors stalk;
The majority have tasks to do,
Whilst among them evil walks.
Some may vouch for one another
If a task completed be,
While other times they may accuse
One whom with a corpse they see.
The corpse in question comes of course
From the impostor’s dubious deeds:
By fist or gun or alien maw
The tainted crew fulfills their needs.
Anyone can call a meeting
When a body’s finally found
And good and evil, roles unknown
Within the cafe gather round.
A choir of “Where?” Is said by all
Until the meeting’s caller may tell
The identity of the fallen mate
And the room in which they fell.
The rainbow spacemen then take turns
Declaring one another “sus,”
Casting blame without a clue…
Such is the game called “Among Us.”
Whoever’s name is called the most
Is thrown into the great beyond.
This repeats until such time
As evil’s purged or good is gone.
Time then, in mysterious ways,
Returns to whence the quest began.
If you want to live this dream
Download the app and soon you can.
But fear not only those who lurk
As black or pink or red or lime…
Fear the monster of this life
Which is the loss of your free time!
Filed under Poems
To Paraphrase Schopenhauer…
What is true is first a joke,
A bit to please a crowd.
Next the truth is vilified,
Taboo to speak aloud.
At some point it’s said again
By someone very scared
And he is told “That’s obvious”
As if nobody cared.
Filed under Poems
Wear Love Blossoms?
Yew are the tree that sustains me.
U turn the sick to the well.
Ewe are so warm and so fluffy.
I love you although I can’t spell.
You’re poem touched me this evening.
Your the only one I think of now.
Their’s somewhere I know and soon they’re we’ll go
But let’s stick to spoken poems for know.
Filed under Poems
The Ends Justify The Memes
Leisurely athlete
With a camera on her head…
Yo, slow GoPro hoe!
Filed under Poems
Religious Dilemmas
When a Catholic priest goes bad
And wants a little boy
He calls the kid by asking
“You want to have a toy?”
When a Rabbi gets the urge
To get a boy that way
He says, “You want to have a toy?
“If so, you gotta pay!”
Filed under Poems
Happy Prime Day (Or My Sense Of Humor When I Stay Up Too Late)
In 36 minutes
The world goes on sale
And you can buy with a click
A big TV
Or game machine
Or even a bigger… machine.
You can spend
With a plastic card
From a company that travels to Venus
But you’ll still seek
A solution to
Your very tiny… bank account.
I didn’t mean
For this poem to be
This amount of long,
But then I thought
Of way too many
Things that rhyme with… ya know?
And so I end
With a big salute
To anyone named Morgan
And wish you
Happy Prime Day
And a poetic male organ.
Filed under Poems
Democracy… Please?
I think a million-dollar income
Is an inalienable right
For everyone within an inch
Of six-foot-O in height,
And that all of those people
Should be worshipped as Gods
And based on modern politics
Such a change has decent odds…
Sometimes A Break Is Good… (He Wildly Justified To Himself)
Yesterday, no poem
Was published upon this site;
No letters marked with blackness
Formed a word against the white.
I wrote no form of humor
That is funny ’cause it’s dumb…
On the one hand, sorry.
On the other, you’re welcome!
Filed under Poems
