I’m no longer a member
Of the anime club
Because I asked Mr. Bushi
Whether Japanese mermaids
Would feel conflicted
If someone asked them to eat sushi.
Tag Archives: Humor
Deshaun Recalls His Scholastic Endeavors
I didn’t learn much at public school
But I remember the important stuff
Like “Everything in the world is free
“If you can run fast enough.”
Filed under Poems
Dr. Seuss Writes An Adult Book
All the Whos down in Whoville
Liked warm beds a lot,
But the Grinch north of Whoville
Had but one lukewarm cot.
For a while he was fine,
Sleeping without a care
‘Til he saw Roxxi Whooter
Whose “whos” just weren’t fair.
The Grinch called to Roxxi,
“Yoohoo, you Who! Who
“Are you?” And she answered
“Just the right Who for you.”
And so the two sidled
From the town to the cranny
Where the Grinch made his home.
On his mind? Hootenanny!
At first he was nervous,
But the Grinch got it going
When what once was hidden
Was suddenly showing.
His heart grew six sizes
But that wasn’t all,
For the Grinch had Thing One
And Thing Two, neither small…
A while shortly passed.
After that, one while more…
Not a Who down in Whoville
Got much sleep, that’s for sure.
What had been merely good
Seemed to now be fantastic
Until Roxxi Who asked,
“Will that be cash or plastic?”
Thus went Grinch’s money
And the Grinch’s six sizes.
To the real Dr. Seuss:
This poet apologizes.
Filed under Poems
Pillow Talk
She told me I was childish,
Young and immature
With some form of exuberance
For which there is no cure.
I took a breath and looked at her
And offered my retort:
“Let’s have this conversation
“Somewhere other than my fort.”
Filed under Poems
Black Humor?
Leo asked, “Would you like to eat African food?”
We voted, and most voted, “Yea.”
Having said yes, Leo said, “Then I guess
“You and Africans feel the same way.”
Filed under Poems
Why Hitler Is The Silver-Medalist of Evil
The inventor of homework they tell is
A guy named Roberto Nevelis.
I don’t know about you,
But sounds like a guy who
Will experience firsthand what Hell is…
Filed under Poems
Deuteronomy 23:2
Last night I read the Bible
‘Cause I was just that bored.
Apparently, “No one whose testicles have been crushed
Or whose penis has been cut off
May be admitted into the company of the Lord.”
So when you settle differences
With fists, and feet as well,
Just remember, a kick to the balls
Is literally a ticket to Hell!
Filed under Poems
Then I Gave Death the “Come Hither” Look…
Whenever death may lurk nearby
And threaten you with pain
Know that if the threat is true
You’ll never watch a debate again…
Filed under Poems
It’s “Queeva,” Actually…
A young Irish man in his prime
Loved a lassie who gave him a lime.
He said, “Darling Caoimhe,
“I’ll never leave ya.”
And yes, that does actually rhyme.
Filed under Poems
Quotidian Composition Vitiates…
People say that grammar
Doesn’t matter any more,
That vocabulary’s useless
And english is a bore.
What they do not realize
Is that the word you tried
Might turn a social program
Into massive genocide.
Take this proposition:
“Our mayor, Jim Metcalf
“Will, by 2025
“Cut homelessness in half.”
What a lovely world we’d have
And what a peaceful street
If Mayor Metcalf’s plan above
Was ever made complete!
Alas, the words they wrote instead
Were, “Mayor Jim Metcalf
“Will, within the next five years,
“Cut homeless people in half.”
To some, there’s nothing different.
To some, this sounds just fine
Until you realize just how
The Mayor crossed a line
Because the homeless person
Who was once in Bradley Square
Now has his legs on Main Street
But his torso’s over there!
Stop the death and carnage
And salute the grammar nerds,
For only you can save a life
By choosing proper words.
Filed under Poems
