Tag Archives: Humor

Truth, AKA The Last Resort

Once again I find myself

Besot by evening’s chill,

No longer in possession of

The time I had to kill.

My mind fixates upon the task

I’ve thus far left undone:

I swore I’d write a poem a day

And yet have written none.

Thus I lie upon my bed

Writing where I am now,

Stating the truth about my life

As syllables allow.

Now comes the peril of present-tense:

I write that I’m writing,

Now I reread the previous line

To see if it’s exciting.

I also find, where once I wrote

Six syllables then eight,

My meter has forsaken me

By virtue of it’s late.

Thus endeth my desperate foray

To create relevant verse.

To all reading I bid good night!

(Poetry is a curse).

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Taste Optional

I saw an advertisement

For a poetry group today

Inviting folks to “come and read

“A poem that stabs the heart,

Reveals a truth or sadness,

Or helps you shout hooray.”

I was not well received

By reading “Ode to a Fart.”

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But Why?

The road told the rooster

“You look like a hen.”

The rooster killed the road’s family

And it never crossed the chicken again.

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Princess Fatigue

Ask any man “Would you marry?”

And the man will most-likely say “Sure.”

He’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days

To announce his commitment to her.

Ask any girl “Would you marry?”

And she’ll smile and say “Yes” with glee.

“And he’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days

“To announce his commitment to me!”

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The Humpback

If you’re a man trying to hump

A large marine mammal that’s male

If it humps back you may have found

A homosexuwhale.

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Starched Contrast

“Iron Man” is a hero

Who shoots lasers from his hand.

He has no female counterpart…

“Iron Woman” is a command.

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More Deep Thoughts

Living a happy and comfortable life

Is like eating a lot of chocolate:

It makes you fat and kills you slowly

But it’s totally worth it.

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This Poem Is Brolken

I wanted to make a polka joke

To show I am a funny folk

Then I drank a diet colk

So instead I told a polka jolk.

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Probably Murder Too, But…

This may be oversimplified

But I think there’s just one sin:

To sacrifice one’s love of life

In the hope you’ll somehow win.

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Pass It On

There’s a lot in life to pass on

Like the buck, the ball, the chance,

The slow guy in the right lane

And the guy who wants to dance.

There’s a lot in life to pass on

But some we should pass more:

A smile, a joke, a genius stroke,

What matters at our core.

We can take a pass on vacuuming

Without many repercussions

But we don’t get back missed kisses

And unlistened-to discussions.

And as you pass decisions

Other folks are passing too

So tell the world “I’m open”

And smile at what gets passed to you.

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