I thought ahead this Wednesday
And wrote before bed this Wednesday,
But alas lacked the foresight
To give myself more night
To think of a good rhyme for “Wednesday”.
Tag Archives: Humor
Schrödinger’s Pillow Fort
So hypothetically, if I went in a box
And scientists didn’t know
That I’d gone in a box at all
It would be as though
I was simultaneously dead and alive
And in a quantum flux
And on behalf of others in my box fort
I think that kinda sucks.
Filed under Poems
The Masculine Urge
Today, when I was peeing
And pondering my existence,
I realized I hadn’t thought about sex in 24 hours.
What I was suddenly seeing
Was not some great resistance
But the fact that Magic: The Gathering has given me superpowers.
Filed under Poems
Identification Complete
There once was a UFO
That crashed in New Mexico.
People there made contact
And now it’s a fact
That it’s now nothing more than an O.
Filed under Poems
Wicked: The Clinton/Harris Story
It’s not that we don’t want a woman
As president of the USA…
It’s that our two female options so far
Would get melted by water. Ok?
Filed under Poems
See Also: Halo
If your Catholic parents are angry
That you play video games
Just tell them you’re playing “Mass Effect”
Then you can be the one who blames.
Filed under Poems
All According To Plan…
I forgot to write tonight
So I type as I brush my teeth.
If I don’t finish quickly
There’s no telling what
Filed under Poems
Yuletide Reflections
I was looking for a winter poem
That I’d already written.
I looked back through my archives
And read rhymes old me was spittin’.
Apparently I’m cynical
And full of twists and turns
And wrote more words like “Dumbass”
Than “yuletides” or “yearns”.
This Winter I’ll aspire
To be merrier than that,
But Winter’s in December
So for now yo mama’s fat.
Filed under Poems
Indie vs. Classic
Some people write songs that span verses
With reference to literary curses.
Some people write “Born in the USA”
On a napkin, then call it a day.
Filed under Poems
In The Beginning
Apple sent me their terms and conditions
But my wife said “You don’t have to read it.”
So I listened to my wife
And now my eternal life…
Well, turns out I have to concede it.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 