I hear her dad has fewer teeth
Than guns hung on his walls…
I heard her seven brothers
Got among ’em 19 balls…
I’ve heard her mom got famous
As a former L.A. Ram…
But I heard she ain’t got no beard
So I don’t give a damn!
Tag Archives: Love
The Intimacy Of Distance
Sometimes to be yourself it seems
A friend just will not do,
For one may fear a friend will know
About the real you.
And so when one must tell the truth
With all its hidden dangers
One turns to find one’s solace
In the waiting ears of strangers.
And yet in sharing what you are
With someone you don’t know,
In starting with the basic stuff
And moving far too slow
You find that what you hoped for
Is alive and omnipresent
And that a world that judged you
Now appears… could it be pleasant?
Did you see the sun came out
And know that fruit is sweet
And music’s free for everyone
And smiles fill the street?
Sometimes just to be yourself
Needs strength you do not feel
So thank God for the strangers
And the ways they help us heal.
Filed under Poems
When Her Eyes Met Mine
My eyes are sort of brownish
Like a car that no one bought,
But there’s a girl I see in class
Whose eyes I like a lot;
They’re greener than a vegan’s lawn
And bright as stars above,
And when I look into their depths
I fall deeper in love.
I asked a dear old friend of mine
How I can show I care.
He told me to make eye contact
And all would flow from there,
And so I took my glasses off
And walked up, feeling fine
And took her head into my hands
And pressed her eyes to mine.
Well I can’t say I had success…
Can’t say it helped my vision…
All I can say’s my friend’s advice
Got me locked up in prison.
But on a side almost as bright
As her eyes’ emerald hue
She said a lot of words to me
And that’s a dream come true!
Shut Up, It’s A Valid Question!
Nine out of ten people agree
A zombie apocalypse would be bad,
And yet there are folks you will see
Who think such a plague is rad.
What I really want to know
Is whether those with necrophilia
Would be more or less turned on
By moving corpses that can kill ya…
Filed under Poems
Promises
One hundred years ago today
A boy and girl were scared
Together in the chapel,
Neither one of them prepared
To spend a life exclusively
In one another’s heart,
But shared a kiss and promise there
‘Til death tore them apart.
Five years from that fateful day
A child joined the two
And once again they stood in fear
Without a hope or clue,
Uncertain how to raise a child
And keep him safe from pain,
But wrapped him in a blanket
And they walked him through the rain.
When fifteen years expired
Since the day they said “I do,”
They met a world of poverty
And skies were seldom blue,
And sometimes they’d go weeks on end
And not a dollar see,
But when they ate, they said their prayers
They ate as family.
Twenty years and thirty went
And forty passed away
And what was young was wrinkled up
And what was brown turned gray.
The easy things got harder
And the hard things all stayed tough,
But a couple has each other
And for them that was enough.
A hundred years ago today
Two words were said by two
And love that was uncertain then
We now can see was true.
There’s always rain, there’s always fear,
There’s always poverty,
And there will always be two more
To find serenity.
Filed under Poems
The Edge of Seventeen
There’s a lake just off the freeway
That I went to with a girl
And we sat beside the water,
Feeding nature to a squirrel.
We made noises with our mouths
And made each other laugh,
Then we got someone to feed us
And we only paid for half.
We saw folks in real pain
Pretend to hurt in different ways
While on a screen and in the guise
Of whatever film’s the craze.
Then I drove backwards up a hill
To drop her off at almost nowhere.
I think about her every time
I see that lake, but never go there.
Such is love and such is life
For one who sees the sun at night,
Who, knowing how they hunger so,
Gladly lets the bedbugs bite.
Filed under Poems
Wear Love Blossoms?
Yew are the tree that sustains me.
U turn the sick to the well.
Ewe are so warm and so fluffy.
I love you although I can’t spell.
You’re poem touched me this evening.
Your the only one I think of now.
Their’s somewhere I know and soon they’re we’ll go
But let’s stick to spoken poems for know.
Filed under Poems
Based on a True Story
She said, “I love your belly fat,
“Your slightly crooked nose,
“Your creepily short fingers
“And your eerily long toes.
“I love your balding forehead
“And your lazy eye as well.”
I said, “Thanks, but all that stuff
“Is nothing next to my smell.”
Filed under Poems
Compromises
Some say my standards are too low,
I’m selling myself short,
And that the only girls I like
Are the substandard sort.
At first I disagreed with them,
But soon I started to wonder…
No news yet, but I’ve got a date
With my neighbor’s pet snake, Thunder.
Filed under Poems
Very Grounded
The loyal tortoise ambles
Through a forest full of brambles
Where once a meadow full of flowers flourished,
Where once the stamens danced
And petals bright entranced
Now a harsher foliage is nourished.
The tortoise tries a bite
Of whatever plant’s in sight
Its mouth enduring savagery and pain
For the aged tortoise knows
That they who seek a rose
Will, in the process, find that thorns they gain.
The tortoise eats its pick
Though much may make it sick
In hopes of finding what it thinks is lost.
The tortoise chews and bleeds
Just to satisfy its needs,
To find its rose regardless of the cost.
Somewhere amid the brush,
In a pocket, dark and hushed,
A seed emerges from the salty soil.
Its leaves taste stale air,
But the seed does not despair
For beauty never grows bereft of toil.
Someday the rose will bloom
And emerge amidst the gloom.
Perhaps the tortoise finds it after all.
Fearless are the plants of old,
Or so another tortoise told
In tales to seeds and to the ones who crawl.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 