Even though I can’t
Count syllables properly
I can still write hai…
Tag Archives: Postaday
In Related News: Sally’s Seashell Sell Did Not Go Well
If a player kicks a keeper
And the team won’t throw him out
Then you keep the keeper-kicker
And the kicked-keeper loses clout
But when the keeper-kicker seeks
To eat the kippers that he picked
He finds the kicked-keeper’s keepers
Had the aforementioned kippers nicked.
So the keeper who was kicked
And the keeper-kicker keep
Debating whether the kipper-nicker
Could be safely called a creep.
Meanwhile, the kipper-nicker
Reveals the kippers from his knickers,
Looks upon the bickering keeper
And his kicker and he snickers.
Filed under Poems
Jews In Mississippi
He showed us how to circumcise a redneck
In a way that none of us had done foresaw:
He found aforementioned redneck in his bedroom
Then kicked the redneck’s cousin in the jaw!
Filed under Poems
Unsung Legends
Hercules is strong
But what about Hiscules?
Bunch of sexist greeks…
Filed under Poems
She Likes Funny Men
She asked “You know what makes me smile?”
I said “Muscles in your face.”
She hasn’t smiled for a while
And says she Needs some space…”
Filed under Poems
A Vegetarian In Texas
I asked the waitress for tofu.
I thought that she was cute
Until she brought me a dildo
And said “Here’s your meat substitute.”
Filed under Poems
Sharing Is Caring
If your roommates are loud
And you want them to hush
Just say “Hey roomie,
“Where’d you put our toothbrush?”
Filed under Poems
We are the .0000000000000000000000000000000000000…1 percent
“My feelings matter”
Screamed the important human
And a few quadrillion cubic lightyears
Of hyper-intelligent space blobs
Smiled and reminisced
On when they thought the same thing.
Two or three universes away
The process repeated.
Filed under Poems
Coming Soon To A Campus Near You
What if there were a fairy tale
In which a handsome knight
Went off to save a princess
On his steed of pearly white
But when he leaned to kiss her
And woke her from her sleep
She turned into a zombie
And ate the patriarchal creep?
Filed under Poems
In Other Words, Nothing Alike
Life is like a romantic comedy
Except there’s more than one fat person in the world
And nobody finds love in an airport.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 