When a man has nothing to say
He waits in silence for the silence to end.
When a girl I like has nothing to say
She says “That’s so nice, but I have a boyfriend.”
Tag Archives: Short
She Did Not Laugh Throatily
She asked me for a diamond necklace.
I gave her a diamond whose shoulders touch its head.
She asked me for a diamond necklace
But I gave her a diamond neckless instead.
Filed under Poems
Trouble In Baltimore
My child asked me this morning
“If hitting is bad,
“How come people hit baseballs?”
Then he flew away.
I later discovered
He was not my child at all.
It was an oriole in disguise.
His sudden aversion to hitting
Makes sense now.
Filed under Poems
College
I am a man who likes the curves
On my preferred Madames,
But better still is having curves
On my final exams.
Filed under Poems
This Poem > Green New Deal
Onions are the only things
That make their murderers cry.
We should all wear clothes made of onions
And all murder would go bye-bye.
Filed under Poems
Twilight: New Orleans
I said “see you later alligator,”
And flashed her my most dazzling smile.
We never had a second date
‘Cause apparently she was team crocodile.
Filed under Poems
When You Spend Mauritanian Money To Play A Gregorian Cadence On A Welsh Instrument (And No One Will Play Board Games With You Anymore)
I spent lots of oguiya
To buy a crwths
So I could perform a euouae.
If you think this is nonsense
But I know better…
I’ve read the Scrabble dictionary. Hooray!
Filed under Poems
Really? Really.
In the news: 007 is a black lady
And a million people attack area 51.
Neither endeavor is likely to succeed
But at least “Seein’ dem aliens” will be fun.
Filed under Poems
Oscarbait 2019
I screamed at the milk carton
“Why doesn’t she love me?”
The milk carton pondered
For a long, long time.
Starring Keanu Reeves.
Filed under Poems
One Step Back, Two Steps Forward
Some say poetry is crap.
Others call it art.
Nobody liked my soccer poem
And I’d call that a very good start!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 