I didn’t know that hair could ache,
Just how much snot a nose can make,
How badly belly-buttons burn,
But today I guess I get to learn!
Tag Archives: Short
And, Somewhere, A Naked Professor Sheds A Tear Over His Sushi And Immediately Regrets It…
If wishes were fishes
We’d eat way more trout,
If thoughts were diplomas
We’d have much more clout,
If logic were clothing
We’d mostly be nude,
But if teardrops were onions
We’d really be screwed.
Filed under Poems
Live and Learn
Your face in my vision
With such precision,
A sight I’ll never forget;
How your eyes met mine
At 12:09…
The feeling’s not left me yet.
I realized two truths
That night in Duluth
As to your house we started walking:
The telescope seller was good,
I fall when hit by a block of wood,
And legally my actions could be called “stalking.”
Filed under Poems
21st Century Music
There once was a popular band
Whose singer was pretty but bland.
The sales started to fall
Until for one and all
She showed off a mammary gland.
Filed under Poems
Political Philosophy 101
Sometimes a thought
Is not what it ought,
A fact that, alas, you can’t change.
But type it in bold
And voila! Behold
It’s still pointless, but I had you going for a while.
Filed under Poems
A Missed Onomatopoeia
Whoever invented the word “tickle”
Made a fatal flaw.
They should have called it “squirch,”
‘Cause that’s how it feels to moi.
Filed under Poems
Vegans, You’re *Almost* Right
Pigs are perfect!
That’s what I think.
They’re smart and they’re fat
And they’re pretty in pink.
They’re as faithful as dogs.
They’re unable to hate.
There’s no animal better
To have on my plate.
Filed under Poems
Here’s Your Gift From Me :-)
‘Twas finally Christmas
And all over the place
Were lots of much better poems
So I’ll get out of your face.
Filed under Poems
Happy Memories and Family…ish
Snow and presents,
Carols, nostalgia.
Yes, ’tis the season
And that’s why I called ‘ya.
We had a great year.
Yeah, the kids are alright.
I’m glad you’re my family.
Call you next year. Good night.
Filed under Poems
‘Ow Ore-ible!
I said I was her rock,
Her anchor, her wall.
She sold me to a mining company.
Alas, that is all.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 