I am driving down the street
In two-thousand pounds of speeding death.
I can watch the road ahead
Or answer a text from my buddy, Seth.
Tag Archives: Short
What To Do After You’re Elected To Public Office
If at first you don’t succeed
Succumb to existential greed
And steal from folks for their own good
And then claim you’re misunderstood.
Filed under Poems
Songwriting Tip #5678
If your chorus is just one sentence
Repeated exactly four times
That song isn’t actually music
And one day you’ll pay for your crimes.
Filed under Poems
Mini Golf, Level 100
Eighteen times we swung our putters.
Eighteen times a whole in one.
Some people started at the green
But starting at the hole is way more fun.
Filed under Poems
Remember This In The Pandemic Of 2119
If instead of wearing masks
And going to school and work online
We had just put on some badass capes
The kids would all be fine.
Filed under Poems
My Conversation Tomorrow After I Get To Work With Two Hours Of Sleep
D and D went long.
We were fighting evil frogs!
What do you mean, “Nerd”?
Filed under Poems
If You Can’t Beat ‘Em
If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em.
They’ll expect tou join them instead
So you have the element of surprise
If you beat ‘em and mess with their head.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 